I just don't understand why he is traeting me this way
Because he has to. Your H has to be distant from you in order to walk away. There is a part of him that is still conflicted - didn't he say that to you recently? There is a part of him that knows he's doing wrong. In order for him to ignore that little voice, he has to ignore you and the boys.
Does that make sense to you K? If your H had to face your pain he would have to face his guilt so he's avoiding that.
This is one reason why we LBS's are to remain calm and not be sad or nasty to the WAS. If we show them our pain it pushes them farther away. If we show them our anger it justifies their behavior.
Your H is simply doing the next step through his crisis. He has to work through this horrible thing. 180 was right. If you can put on a calm face, help him move. Help him through this crisis.
Originally Posted By: kelela
I don't know anymore what to do.
That's ok. You don't have to know what to do. In fact, as upset as you are right now, its best if you don't do anything. Don't make any decisions. Just get through each day, each hour, each minute. Keep breathing.
I really hope your church experience is a good one. Church is about more than worship K. Its about fellowship and support. I've belonged to great and not so great churches - and the great ones really made a difference in my life. If by chance you aren't crazy about the church you try today I hope you would be open to trying another because churches are as different as people are different.
You aren't alone K. You have your blood family who loves you and will be there by phone/computer for support. You have your MIL who is in your corner. You have friends who will be there for you. You have this forum. And maybe, you'll have a church as well. That adds up to a lot of people on TEAM K.
And, you have you. You are better than you know K. Its overwhelming and awful right now - so you might not believe me at this very moment, but you have strengths you don't even know about. You will be ok.
Keep breathing honey. (((kelela)))
Me 46 H 56 M 22 yrs S22, D20, Twin Ss18
You teach people how to treat you by what you allow. What you stop. And what you reinforce. ~~~~~~~ A lack of boundaries invites a lack of respect.
