"I don't know why but I piece of me is always a little glad when he is sad....makes me think he is really not all that happy w his decisions"
I feel the same way about W. it's not like I just want her to be unhappy out of spite. But I hope it's not all sunshine and happiness for her, so she may remember that it wasn't *all* bad with us.
H is coming out of his fog a bit, but don't expect anything. It's a long journey. The fact that he trusted you with this info is huge. Don't let it change anything though. He is probably feeling quite safe since you have appt. next week. Guard your heart
H said he would be at one of my races, the one I was training for initially. He wasn't there. Later found out it was because xgf spent the night with him.. He still doesn't know I know. It was hard he wasn't there, because it was a milestone for me. I also cried before the finish, because I knew he wasn't there.
The reality of the upcoming mediation is making him now aware of just what he has done.
But we are not mind readers
75 miles......holy ship!!!
My a$$ is in pain on my 25 mile rides............awesome job for an awesome cause
Head high, chin up GTO
ME 38 W 37 T18 M5 D3 BD 1/7/13 PA Conf 2/11/13- Ongoing 2nd simultaneous affair Confirmed 4/19/13 W gets APT and begins transition out 5/29/13 First mediation appt 12/19/13
GTO, I agree with Ruby. He might feel safer bc the appt with the mediator is coming up. However, the way he opened up is great, I think. I know you've decided to "drop the rope," but keep your mind open to all possibilities.
Thanks for the congrats on my charity bike ride! I do feel good about my personal accomplishment. And, yes, PS, my tushy does hurt a bit today!
I do agree H is opening up, but I don't think it will change his path. OW is not yet D'ed but "is almost D'ed" so H has not been "dating her" yet...still an EA, according to him.
Yet, he is willing to throw everything away for her. His marriage, his family, his home & everything we've built together...all for this life he thinks he wants w OW.
Unfortunately I think it will be far in the future before he realizes the grass ain't greener--if he ever does.
Mediation starts Tuesday. I am sad about this. In fact I can't stop thinking that it all is really going to happen.
Dropping the rope is all about me moving forward and unfortunately H has not wavered in his path toward life w OW/ away from me... so I feel I have no choice except to save myself by moving through this process.
My mind remains open... until it is over.
M- 18 T-21 S-14,11 & 10 BD 6-18-2012 (OW-EA) H moved out 11-3-2012 10-5-13 Me- I want a divorce. I want to move on w my life. 11-25-13 Jointly filed.
Thanks for the congrats on my charity bike ride! I do feel good about my personal accomplishment. And, yes, PS, my tushy does hurt a bit today!
I do agree H is opening up, but I don't think it will change his path. OW is not yet D'ed but "is almost D'ed" so H has not been "dating her" yet...still an EA, according to him.
Yet, he is willing to throw everything away for her. His marriage, his family, his home & everything we've built together...all for this life he thinks he wants w OW.
Unfortunately I think it will be far in the future before he realizes the grass ain't greener--if he ever does.
Mediation starts Tuesday. I am sad about this. In fact I can't stop thinking that it all is really going to happen.
Dropping the rope is all about me moving forward and unfortunately H has not wavered in his path toward life w OW/ away from me... so I feel I have no choice except to save myself by moving through this process.
My mind remains open... until it is over.
M- 18 T-21 S-14,11 & 10 BD 6-18-2012 (OW-EA) H moved out 11-3-2012 10-5-13 Me- I want a divorce. I want to move on w my life. 11-25-13 Jointly filed.
Just wanna say I'm rooting for ya! Wow it does seem like we are in the same timeline here. I too spoke with another L about two weeks ago and it really seem like if I'd go with this I would go the mediator route.
I just can't imagine how you are feeling right now regarding your meeting with mediator. Stay strong and confident and think about what is best for you and your kids. Keep us posted.
Congrats on your accomplishment on your charity bike ride! Cycling is one of my GAL just about every weekend I go with our meetup group and did a couple of charity fundraising tours early this year.
Take care, Newman
me40; W43 M18; T~20 D18; S13 & S3 bomb 5/9/11 EA busted 4/30/12; 9/4/12; 4/29/13; 6/10/13 same OM
Separated 4/1/14
"Even a flicker of light will shine through darkness-12/25/2012"....better days ahead.
Yet, he is willing to throw everything away for her. His marriage, his family, his home & everything we've built together...all for this life he thinks he wants w OW.
That's the way I used to look at it with my W, that I just couldn't understand why she would "throw away" financial security, a long relationship with a faithful husband, a great home and retirement setup, etc. etc. for a fantasy life that exists only in her head. But the reality of it is that is how much the WAS hates their current life. They are so unhappy and miserable that they willingly give up all the good parts of the M to escape the bad parts. I've read many, many sitches here and the vast majority of the "faults" with the LBS center around simple, easy-to-solve issues. Yet the WAS insists these seemingly minor infractions can never be righted. So the LBS is left asking why? Why can't it be fixed? Why isn't the WAS willing to try? There is no reasonable answer to that question. What you have to understand is to the WAS, the way they feel is 100% real and accurate (to them). They feel so wronged that the only solution is to leave the M. It's not a decision they take lightly and they're constantly arguing with themselves internally over it. But they keep coming back to that as the only solution.
