Had charity cancer bike ride--rode 75 miles- first time for me! I thought I might keel over near the end but with God's grace I made it.
After I crossed the finish line I sat and cried-sobbed. I realized it was from exhaustion, no family to meet me at end (as H would have definitely been there for me w kids in the past), and the hardships my family & married have been through.
When I got home H (he was at house w boys) was excited to hear about my ride. He said great job and seemed interested in hearing about it.
He came out to driveway as I was unpacking car & asked me if I ever felt like I didn't have a family anymore. Well, that was all it took for me to start crying again. I said yes & told him that I felt so alone at the bike event not having my family there to support me.
He said he feels like that all the time (since he almost never has boys at night). He even said he was out on our boat w boys today and he said it didn't feel right. I agreed & said boat would never be the same for me anymore either.
He gave me a genuine hug before he left. I don't know why but I piece of me is always a little glad when he is sad....makes me think he is really not all that happy w his decisions.
But...apptmt w mediator on Tuesday. So, on we go.
M- 18 T-21 S-14,11 & 10 BD 6-18-2012 (OW-EA) H moved out 11-3-2012 10-5-13 Me- I want a divorce. I want to move on w my life. 11-25-13 Jointly filed.
