Still at Square One!!!

[DFE]

H texts me regularly. Always with a purpose not just to chit chat. Things like we need to get appointments for a full body scan or I went to get blood work and had to stand in line for two hours. I know he's trying to remain friends but its so confusing for me.

I know part of this is because I have withdrawn for him so much. All the rejection I've received from him has made me to into my shell. I already have a tough time showing affection and then every time I did he would push me away so I closed up. Last time we were separated I text him good night one night andnhenwas so happy. Said I hadn't said that to him in years.

I hugged him before he moved and he said I hadn't done that in years and that he loved it. I'm so lost as to how to act around him. I am at an advantage because we work together and I see him daily but I am shut down. I am nice but not overly friendly. I am not affectionate and just confused as to how to act. Suggestions?

Do I text him once in a while and say things like good night ? I'm afraid of him getting more distant as time goes on. I know he still loves me. I don't think he wants this but doesn't know what else to do. There has been no emotion in our M in a long time. I think that started with me. What do I do?