I had a DB coach session with Amanda yesterday, and I always find her insights and advice very helpful. Yesterday night, I already put one of her suggestions into practice and saw some results.
I had told her that I saw "diminishing returns" on many of the things I've been doing and also that I notice a pattern of W being more cold, distant during the day and then at night-time more intimate. For example, the evening she wouldn't hold my hand while we were out, but then at home in bed she'll cuddle up to me and we'd ML. Then in the morning, my W will be all business again. She suggested I break the pattern by withdrawing before my W does. I did this last night, and getting into bed my W asked if I had a good night. I told her yes. Then she said, "But?" and she repeated it. She felt that I was holding something back. I wasn't.
We'll see if being more variable and withdrawing first can break this pattern that we've fallen into.
