This life is more than just a read through

[TSquared2]

And for a bit of humor, PON, a few times when I asked W if it was me, etc...a few times she just growled...seriously! Growled...

Then I shrugged, said "okie-dokie then" and went about my business...

Of course I was thinking about maybe getting some of our dog treats out...but...you know...STFU and walk away sometimes is the only logical, and sane, thing to do. I DO value my life...

[ThisDayForward]

Thanks T. Sometimes with my W I don't know if I did do something to bother her.
Mostly it is just her but maybe I said or did something not realizing . I'm human I do f up. She gets a thought in her mind sometimes and holds it in(right or wrong)
Thx for that small edit, communication is important

[Raine]

Hmm, where I come from growling is a good thing...a very good thing.

Yeah like I could let that one go by without saying something. Too dang funny!

[ThisDayForward]

T2 after thinking more about this. I tried spooning my W Sat night. She started distancing herself Sunday. She has instantly stopped wearing her rings again. (no big deal I know) but definitely has really stopped engauging in open conversation with me since then.
If I know my W her body probably started to feel off after I spooned her and she will blame me for the way her body feels again.
Anyways just letting you know my observations.

[ForeverYoung]

Hi T2. I hope it's been a while since W has growled at you!

Regarding the SA your W was subjected to as a child, how has she dealt with it? Did she see it as a major issue for her pain all along? Does she confide in you about it? Has she gone to counseling to help her heal from it?

As you are aware, my W has been through similar. According to her actions and words, she doesn't see it as a big part of her present problems. Others assure me that it has to be... which does make sense.

How have you and your W dealt with this issue?

The Warrior site says it could take 10 years to heal... Ouch!

Thanks!

[ThisDayForward]

Interesting about SA. My wife also had this issue

[RosaLinda]

Hello T2, FY and PON. The LBS previously known as LindaM here. 

How interesting in a pathetically sad sort of way, that all of your Ws were exposed to SA. When I was in law school, I worked as a SA nurse for our DA. It was simultaneously the best and worst thing I've ever done. I only dealt with the immediate emotional and physical trauma, not the aftermath, of course. But I noticed that the betrayal by someone loved and trusted seemed to cause severe emotional devastation. Abuse by a stranger or casual acquaintance caused fear and aggitation, but not that deeply broken spirit. I don't know what happened afterwards though. 

Raine, please 'splain: "Hmm, where I come from growling is a good thing...a very good thing." 

[TSquared2]

Hi FY,

She has started to deal with it through different channels (talk therapy, etc) several times through the years, but always stopped it seems. She used to confide in me about it, but, not the past 2 years too much. She did a lot right after her dad died and 3 years after.

She knows it is something that has affected her all these years, from childhood onwards. Maybe she denied it during the earlier stages of her mlc, idk. When our kids were young she didn't have time or energy to work on it, per her. Or her other issues, which maybe are tied in or to it, loosely or strongly. I don't know what/when/where/how she plans on tackling it, that's up to her. Or maybe she will come to terms with it all by herself.

I am there for her, she knows this.

Linda and Raine, I do remember when growling had only one interpretation, and it was a good thing...lol!

[ThisDayForward]

T2 I do not know how you have the will power to not pursuit your W. Every time my W shows any positive signs of anything I wanted to hop on her like public transporation

[uRworthy]

Ok, PON, that just made me laugh out loud.

Here's the thing about it. You keep doing that and she is going to have you kicked off the bus. Just sayin.....:)

You know the drill. Detach, give space, GAL. Rinse and repeat.