I find my "no control" is also "control" in disguise sometimes. Carefully thought out options are still options that I have put on the table....
Bitterness is tough...I would like to say I have none and most of the time I am right. But it creeps in when I have those days Less and less though. it is weird as I move closer to H, that what he does affects me less. Don't ask, haven't unpacked it, but thinking that he is being friend zoned ever so slowly by my heart.