Fantasy meets Reality

[RosaLinda]

How are you doing NLT? I hope you've been successful with your plan to just stand back and wait a bit to see what happens next. Any new shoe purchases on the house budget account ?

[Notlikingthis]

Linda,

Your h's behavior is too funny. Moving his toothbrush to another part of the bathroom? Just more confirmation of toddler behavior. Remember when your boys were 2 years old and they were trying to assert their independence? LOL

No more shoe purchases that I can see but then she has her own acct that he is funding for the house expenses. I'm certain that she will find a way to sneak in a few shoe purchases but I won't have the pleasure of seeing them. The important thing is that HE see them. He is not (or at least hasn't been) the type of person to ignore finances. He's all over investments and budgets!

It's my oldest son's birthday today. He's off mountain climbing somewhere so we won't have the awkwardness of having to attend a party. Holidays are going to be interesting this year. I suspect he will leave town as he always wanted to do in the past. For some reason he can't handle Holiday's. Many years we scheduled trips that would include being gone on Thanksgiving and or Christmas. He's never said anything but his holidays during childhood must have been less than happy.

I received 3 texts and 2 phone calls yesterday. H was all wound up about his truck tags expiring. I sent him the notice weeks ago and he must have forgotten (gee, is that possible) so he asked me to help him out. I reluctantly did and in some ways I wish I hadn't. He didn't come to pick up his truck after work until almost 9pm last night. I heard a car pull up and just as I looked to see who it was, I saw the ow speed off in my h's car.....one that I am a co-owner of. ARGGG! I let it go but have learned a lesson about helping him out in the future.

Off to the city to have dinner with a friend. Will check in later.

[Notlikingthis]

FY, Thanks for the feedback and "validation"! Yep, we need it too sometimes.

You are such a sweet h. To tell your wife that she was never a nag is something that a woman likes to hear. I have always made a point of asking politely and only once for my h to help me out or doing something that I can't do myself. If he didn't do it, I let it go and either did it myself or had one of the boys help me. I was very conscious of that after growing up with a sweet loving but nagging mother. I also received some very sweet and kind compliments from my h...even as late as last week. You're right, that's all we need to confirm that MLC is real.

So FY, don't give up your "team" spirit! I haven't and will continue to patiently wait for his return to earth and will pray that your w will as well.

[Notlikingthis]

mizj,

I didn't call my daughter but she must have been thinking about me. She sent a message the following day asking how things were going and wondered if I'd be around this weekend. I didn't tell her what his latest thoughts are and I feel that HE should be the one to tell her anyway. If she can get away from work she will be here for a few days this weekend. If that doesn't work then I will visit her in the fall.

OMG, your h sounds like he is really stuck in the tunnel. I wouldn't blame you one bit if you slipped some drugs in his food to see if that works for him. God knows he won't go to a Dr. on his own.

Hang in there....you'll know when enough is enough.

[Notlikingthis]

As I was rushing out of here yesterday afternoon to meet a friend for dinner my h was walking up the street toward the house. I was in a hurry but stopped for a few seconds to say hi. He asked me what I was up to. I told him that I was going into the city, was in a hurry and was sorry but had to get going. A few hours later, while I'm still at dinner, I get this text from him.

"You looked great!! Off on a date?"

I'm really getting tired of him asking me that question (are you dating) just about every time he talks to or sees me. I have tried to handle it differently each time he asks by either laughing, giving a non answer or changing the subject. Btw he did eventually notice the bouquet of roses that mysterious appeared at my doorstep awhile back. He wanted to know who they were from. I told him that there wasn't a card and that I had no clue. I think he's put the roses and my distancing together and assumes that I'm seeing someone. I found out from a mutual friend that the ow's h has gal and is enjoying his life without her. She is as pleased as can be will be filing for D very soon if she hasn't already. I know that he's hoping that it will be that easy for him.

So my question is how to respond when he asks. I thought about telling him that my personal life is none of his concern (too harsh) or why do you ask or simply just saying NO. What I'd really like to convey to him is to stop asking me that question!!! Maybe I'm making too much out of this but I know how he thinks. She's doing fine now, has someone in her life etc. and I don't have to feel guilty for what I'm about to do (file).

My daughter sent a text yesterday telling me that she and her bf broke up. It's been a pretty long term r and even though it was a mutually agreed to breakup she is pretty upset. She's decided not to come home this weekend. What the heck is going on? Does anyone else think that the full moon has anything to do with all of this? LOL!

[job]

NLT,
I would be sorely tempted to just smile when he asks if you are dating. You really don't owe him a reply. He's actually hoping that you are so that it alleviates some of the guilt that he's carrying around about what he's doing.

Next time...just smile and walk away or change the subject.

[Notlikingthis]

Snodderly,

Thanks but I was hoping that you'd say that I should ask him if he has any prospects for me!

You're not going to believe this. Your advice came at just the right time. He called me on his way home from work again just to say "hi" and ultimately to find out if I really did have a date last night. He chatted for awhile about his work then told me that it was nice to see me yesterday and how nice I looked (lip service and schmoozing) then said that it looked as if I was dressed for a date. I laughed and changed the subject. Oh no, that wasn't working for him at all. He stopped me and said you're avoiding my question. I innocently said "what"? He repeated what he said so I casually said, yeah, I guess you might get that impression by the way I was dressed and changed the subject again. It didn't satisfy him but he never brought it up again. Told him that I had a lot to do around the house before it got too late and said goodbye.

Well, it didn't end there. I was out blowing needles and other debris off of the patio when he drove up. Yep, dressed as if I were going on a date only wearing something that I would never leave the house in alone for fear of being picked up by the first mlcer that saw me. LOL He must have slipped by me somehow because I didn't see him walk up. It wasn't until he was pulling out of the driveway that I saw him. He stopped and waved me over....yep the first mlcer to see me and he's got this flirty tone in his voice. I couldn't see his eyes because he had sunglasses on but I can guarantee you that he was looking! HA! He asked if what I had on was new. I told him that it wasn't and changed the subject to my younger daughter.

He turned a bit serious and asked how she was doing. I mentioned that I'd taken her shopping and a few other things that she was up to. He said that we're going to have to plan something with her and that he discussed it with the ow and that ow agrees. WTF? The ow has nothing to do with this and doesn't get an opinion on it either. He and I have discussed and agreed
that younger daughter cannot know about this. It would be too damaging to her. I didn't tell him this but she keeps asking about him, if he's working or out of town etc. I keep putting her off but eventually she's going to get on a bus and show up here one day and figure this out. I am very protective of her when it comes to things like this. He use to be but we all know that if it doesn't involve the mlcer directly then it's not important. Sorry, I got sidetracked here. Anyway, back his visit. I started to back away had turned the blower back and he's still talking. I turned it off and asked him to repeat what he'd said. I acknowledged it and turned the blower back on. He just sat there in his truck so I turned toward him, smiled and aimed blower at him He shook his head, smiled and inched away still looking at me with a smile on his face. Ahhh yes, he is still in there and recognized that part of me that can be a bit devilish.

Yes, I had my rings on but I don't know if he noticed this time. I think his focus was elsewhere.

[job]

Nice work! It's got him thinking and yes, his curiosity is getting to him. That's the beauty of being dressed up, smiling and changing the subject. You aren't lying about a thing and mind games have a way of making people very curious.

Love it! Keep up the good work.

[RosaLinda]

You handled that so well NLT, mischievious, mysterious, frisky. The damn OW has a lot of nerve making plans for any of your kids, but especially your daughter. She is getting too pushy for words. Oh if she could have seen the admiration on your H's face when he was watching you! She'd be seething with jealousy keep up the good work!

[Notlikingthis]

Thanks ladies! I was still smiling this morning when I woke up. I'm puzzled that his truck is here again today. He must have had something to do at work today. This is highly unusual. He doesn't work on Saturday's unless it's an all out emergency at work.

What shall I do today? Do my errands at about the time I think he'll be coming back or stay and find another outfit that he hasn't seen? Hmmm, I think I go out and work in the garden and think about it. Speaking of the gardens, he said that he should come over and help me do a few things around the yard next weekend. I have to be suspicious about that. He loves to work in the garden but he has his own yard to take care of now and it's a lot more work than the yard here. Time will tell.

Linda, I have no problem being mischevious, mysterious and with nearly 2 months of no ML, frisky isn't a problem! I took a chance that he wouldn't behave as your h does sometimes and race off leaving me standing in the dust. I was ready for however he reacted. Any news on the Visa? I see where RT's relatives were involved in a major internet scam involving some pretty major companies. LOL. The Russian mafia is alive and well. Your h better watch his step.