I completely agree cat04. I just feel like if it's just as easy for me to leave the door open for him to feel like wanting something, I would like to do that.
The thing that's different, for me, is I'm no longer the one making things happen for him and the kids. I'm not reminding him that he planned to do a trip, I'm not trying to step in and make his trip happen, I'm just staying out of the way of the trip in case it does end up happening. The rest is up to him. Meanwhile, I'm going to the beach heck yeah!
Our emails to each other do sound like work emails. It's funny. I see so many guys here all emotional about their wives, and wanting to check in and connect, and that has always put my H waaaaay off. He is really annoyed by that, so I have not developed a habit of doing it, and especially not now. Our communications are very businesslike. My attitude is to meet him where he's at, like DB says, if he comes forward I'll come forward just a little less than him. Just writing this down sounds like over-thinking. At the risk of over-thinking, I suppose my approach with him is to give him all the emotional space he wants and more.
I don't think he misses me, but I wouldn't know. I do kind of miss him sometimes, or the life we had, but I am good right now.
Adinva 51, S20, S18 M24 total 6/15/11-12/1/12 From IDLY to H moving out 9/15/15-3/7/17 From negotiating SA to final D at age 50 5/8/17-now: New relationship with an old friend __ Happiness is a warm puppy.
