Thanks FY, SA, and Bklyn!! Bklyn I "attended" my first al-anon mtg on Monday. It was by telephone since there isn't one within an hour of where I live. It was really helpful. I could see where you could build good friendships if at a regular meeting.
I'm doing better now. The dinner went off without a hitch. I had lots of compliments on the meal, great conversation, and fun. W even chimed in with praise and laughs. I know it helps for her to see me being social with others. After everyone left she talked about some of the discussions I had with our guests. I think it makes her feel good to know others have fun around me. Just one more fun experience for her to ponder. We're such a good team.
The boys are staying with her tonight and I'll be traveling tomorrow night, so a needed break. FY you summed it up best with,"you know which plan your boys would prefer." Enough said.
M - 42 W- 37 S's - 9,6 M-12 T-14 FIL- diagnosed with fatal disease spring 2011 ILYBNILWY - march '12 FIL - died jan '13 W Moved out week later
A question for everyone about AD meds. W is going to be hanged from Effexor to cymbalta (sp?). I'm very happy Effexor is being stopped as it is known to cause people to loose feelings for their spouse. I believe T^2 clued me in in that one. Anyone have experience with the new med?
M - 42 W- 37 S's - 9,6 M-12 T-14 FIL- diagnosed with fatal disease spring 2011 ILYBNILWY - march '12 FIL - died jan '13 W Moved out week later
Thanks Bklyn! I hope it does too. If there is a small part of her that can have an actual feeling, I would like to think she may be able to tolerate me
M - 42 W- 37 S's - 9,6 M-12 T-14 FIL- diagnosed with fatal disease spring 2011 ILYBNILWY - march '12 FIL - died jan '13 W Moved out week later
From what I have read, they are in the same class, but cymbalta acts differently and "more gently"...cymbalt works on seratonin and norepinephrine at same time, whereas effexor needs higher does to hit norepinephrine...
Hoping for the best man...all I know is that when W got off effexor a lot of anger eventually got worked through and I wasn't the source of all her evil...
She is on wellbutruin now since, but it is a totally different class of med. Seems to take the edge off and not mask the feelings like effexor did.
Hang in there, and give it a month before looking for any med related change...
In the depths of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer. - Albert Camus
Uncertainty is the very condition which impels people to unfold their powers.-Eric Fromm
Two interesting conversations last night. It looks like my bro, sister and me will be taking my parents to a Major League Baseball game for my dads birthday. It's more of an undertaking that some of you are used to just based on where we live. Anyway, I was telling the boys about it and they are excited. W overheard and said it for into her calendar? So, I guess she's going. I find it odd.
Next was s9 asking when she was going to stay at home and sleep with dad. W said she probably would when school starts back. Hmmmm
None of what they say.....
M - 42 W- 37 S's - 9,6 M-12 T-14 FIL- diagnosed with fatal disease spring 2011 ILYBNILWY - march '12 FIL - died jan '13 W Moved out week later
I'm in the doghouse and am working real hard to bite my tongue. S9 threw up at midnight, but was fine when he woke up this morning. W sends a text asking how they were at the same time he throws up again. So I tell her he's sick. She's mad I didn't tell her until she asked, I need to grow up, etc. It's all I can do not to tell her to go find a friend to go get drunk with or a dude to screw and just leave us alone.
I need to grow up! That makes my blood boil.
M - 42 W- 37 S's - 9,6 M-12 T-14 FIL- diagnosed with fatal disease spring 2011 ILYBNILWY - march '12 FIL - died jan '13 W Moved out week later
Sorry to hear W is letting you have it Mtn. Remember, this is all about her so try not to take it personally.
But you are allowed to draw boundaries as to how W can talk to you. Don't let her treat you like crap or you'll get more of the same. Just be direct but calm when you tell her that you will not tolerate being treated in an disrespectful manner. End it at that and don't allow her to draw you into an argument.
M: A really long time. Crisis: 5 years. She's still worth it.
Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose. -Viktor Frankl
That's her guilt projected onto you, don't play the game. Its hard not to take personal, but its really has nothing to do with you. Let her act out, act as if, and take care of your own business.
Thanks FY and thump! I thought the same about the projection. She ended up taking s9 to the doctor. She's really stepping up her game to help. I'm now concerned she is really sane. Chuck said showing responsibility is a good sign of coming through the process. I'll be patient and hope for the best.
M - 42 W- 37 S's - 9,6 M-12 T-14 FIL- diagnosed with fatal disease spring 2011 ILYBNILWY - march '12 FIL - died jan '13 W Moved out week later
