Two roads diverged in a yellow wood...

[chasingpavements]

Thanks Not Quitting and Sailing Alone...

I am having a rough day, with H gone with the kids and being alone in the house. I feel like I have been a great mother and wife, and I am starting to feel taken for granted by H. I feel invisible, alone, not wanted, and cast aside. H has told me a few times lately that he knows what he is doing to me isn't fair, he even said he knows that he has been a jerk!

I am starting to feel that he is not worthy of my love, that I deserve better. In the beginning of all of this I was a little hopeful. But now, every day I debate back and forth about wanting to stay in this marriage. Lately, I have been leaning more towards wanting to separate, because I feel he does not care for me, or support me enough, and he is causing so much pain.

I know that giving him the ultimatum was probably a horrible idea, but at the time I felt like I was comfortable with either decision that he came back with. I have lost respect for him, and no longer feel like he is the man I married, that he no longer has integrity.

Sailing Alone, you are probably right that counseling would do more harm than good.