Two roads diverged in a yellow wood...

[Verum]

Hoping for advice,
Yesterday I asked H if he wanted me to go or not. To me, it seemed like it didn't matter to him either way.

You should not have asked him. This is too much pressure. Next time, just go and be happy (or pretend to be) and give him space.

He would just snap at me over the tiniest things, and if I asked him a question he would grumble a one word answer at me.

give him space. Avoid asking questions.

He told me that it is just more of the same, that he is still feeling sad about everything.

This is testing behavior. Don't react to it. Listen to him and validate. Say, "I'm sorry you feel that way ..."

I am at my breaking point. I have dealt with his indecisiveness for months now. I am an emotional person, and this limbo is taking it's toll on me. I have had great stress and anxiety. I know for a fact that I cannot go on any more in the limbo, I have reached the end of my rope. I have not had any affection from him in months. He has not planned any dates or done anything nice for us. He is caught up in not knowing what to do. I feel that he has not given me any hope. I have tried to stay positive, but I am having great difficulty with it. He is not giving me much to work with and I am starting to resent him for everything.

I feel this way at times too. You need to GAL since those activities, especially social activities will help alleviate the pain.

I told him before he left that I would like him to do some thinking about something. I told him that I would like him to commit to doing marriage counseling with me, or else we would move on separate ways.

NO, no, and no. Don't go to counciling. It won't help since he has checked out of the marriage. He'll go, say he tried to save the marriage but it is just not working.

I feel (mostly) at peace, that we can try and work on things or be done. I never in a million years would have dreamed that he would cause me so much trouble and pain.

I never thought my W could cause me such pain either. But she did. If you H is in MLC, then this will take awhile. In the meantime, you should read Sandi's rules in the Newcomer's section. They help. Your H wil lhave to work out his own issues. You just need to give him space and not pressure him. It seems like you are applying a lot of pressure, which you should stop.

It is very hard. I've been doing this for 7 months now, and it does get a little easier, but it is still very difficult.

Avoid all relationship talks with your H and think about what you need for yourself. Do you have kids? Do you really want to separate? What are the pros/cons of separating now, or going through a 2-3 year crisis?

In my case, I feel that I can continue staying because my current sitch is better than divorce. I also hold out very high hopes that my W will get through this MLC and that we can have a new, better marriage afterwards. I constantly reevaluate my feelings and what I think about this. I suggest you do the same.

I do not think your H will be willing to work on things, so if this is your expectation, you'll be disappointed. DB-ing is about you single-handly working on things to improve the marriage until such time your H is ready.

Good luck.