Hello Bright, Snoddery and Linda (Love the new name!)
Thank you all for checking in on me, it means a great deal. I have snuck by everyone's threads, but lunch hour is almost over, so I will post later.
I am doing OK. Dad should be out of hospital today after two weeks. It was really hard visiting there. Not been a stellar yer for me, I am afraid.
But, I am still surviving and painfully moving forward and moving on.
Time seems to have this weird way of contracting and expanding. Thanks Linda and Bright for saying that you don't think four months is that long. Feels like forever to me! Bright, thank you for reminding me that there could be other reasons that he has not contacted me. I still sometimes feel like I was carelessly thrown away.
At this point with the way things are, I don't think I could contact him without hurting me. I don't even expect him to respond, but I would hurt all the same. And I cannot keep doing that to me. Call it pride or self-respect, I get sick every time I think all he is getting is a boost to his ego from my contact.
I find it so strange that I miss him but do not know if I would take him back at this point. Maybe I miss the memories and the "could have beens" more. We were a good couple. But the person he is NOW is someone who would have to do a lot of work for me to accept him back in my life. Such a sobering thought. Still a little unreal, too.
Thank you for the compliment, Snodderly. I never know if the advice I am giving is right/wrong but it is given with hope that sometimes just seeing a post from someone when you are having a rough day, helps.
I know it always helps me to feel better when others post to me.
