DB seemingly backfired w/ my H???

[lost_hope]

I don't know why I'm having such a hard time quoting. I LOVE your confidence and you're so young I also think you will be able to find someone else. But your question about will they stay, that hit home, because I really thought I found someone who believed in sticking it out. I mean, it's not like I'm abusing him, we just have regular marital issues that can be worked on if both parties would try. So you're right who's to say it won't happen again. But I know sometimes people find wonderful second spouses so I know there's hope. For me ... now I'm two years older and am having a baby so that's a package deal and I know that's a deal breaker for many men. I'm also at that weird age where many men my age or a bit older are already settled down/married/starting families so I'd have to go a bit older to find someone. Not that I'm emotionally ready at all. Between the divorce and my anxiety disorder and also needing to focus squarely on my child I can't even think about that right now.

I am glad you are productively waiting. I thought I was too (since my H also makes it clear that he's done and I do believe him, he will only come back if/when he wants to) but I have turned unproductive lately. I am getting really nervous ... my son is coming into this world in 3 weeks and between that and the closing on two properties my anxiety has kicked into overdrive.

Anyway, I do understand the financial issues and of course if he's willing to help then I say take it. I did the same in buying the house with him bc I knew that he would have to pay at least 1/2 for the mortgage by getting into the deal with me and that's a big chunk of money even if he never pays anything else for my son (which he will). I am having the same issues with joint bank account. My mom advised me months ago to separate it, and I will at some point in the future, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. Although for me it would be a 180 to separate as we had joint account even while dating and not engaged.

I decided I am going to file in the beginning of the year, that should be enough for him to decide whether he wants to be a family with me and his son or not. That would be five months after birth but ten months from "INILWY" To be honest my heart hurts and I don't even know if I'd take him back at that point.

Good luck and have a good weekend. I hope things will turn around for you! Keep up the good work.