H and I spent 4 hours on the phone Tuesday night where I finally, 4 months from bomb drop received the diatribe on all the ways I've failed him as a wife. So now I have some insight into the issues he never mentioned and never gave us a chance to address. He handled them in the worst way possible and is adamant that he is DONE and does not want to work on the marriage.
So, kill him with kindness. I wished him well, told him we need to focus on a peaceful divorce and co-parenting relationship. You never know what the future holds, maybe we'll find our way back to each other.
I feel in my heart that unless/ until I'm committed to someone else, the door is still open for him to come out of his OW fog and realize the marriage/ family is worth working for. I don't have expectation that that is going to happen, I'm just being honest about the way I feel at this moment.
I'm at peace with moving on. I'm focusing on my future with my children, focusing on selling the house and excited about picking out a new place all my own. And I've told the kids they can get a dog. They've always wanted one but H is allergic.
Still sad about the end of a marriage, I feel strongly it could have and still could be saved if he was willing to do the work. Angry about the way he handled it but committed to dealing with that in therapy and not letting it turn to resentment. And just disappointment over it all.
