Blindsided

[chl0901]

Happy Friday, everyone! I went to an exercise class last night which was nice since I hadn't been able to exercise since last Sat. due to being sick and weak. It was a little tougher than usual (I'm still not at 100%), but it felt good to get moving like that again. I'm going to do some strength training with a friend during my lunch break today, which I'm actually looking forward to.

I'm still really struggling with my sometimes overwhelming feelings of anger and jealousy thinking of H and OW and just how H is now acting like everything is fine with me while pursuing her. I just feel so betrayed. I understand that I cannot control his or her actions and that confronting him will only result in lies and him turning to OW even more. I know that I still need to focus on working on me and being the best I can be and H will have to decide on his own to end things with her, but I don't see that happening any time soon at all. It's just really frustrating and makes my heart hurt so much.

The funny thing about all this is, I haven't really cried much (I use to be much more emotional about things). I don't know if I've been holding it all in or what, but it strikes me as weird considering how I've been in the past.