glad to hear your little "voice" this morning. yeah- i know the sensitive soul thing being squashed by some boorish jacka$$ that is soooooo self-involved they can't even "see" us much less realize what they're doing. much less care-
more and more i do really really realize it's not a personal thing we can "fix" - it's like an alcoholic or any kind of addiction that they have to want to fix it and then do itthemselves.
man- i'd kill for some cookies, peice of cake- SUGARRRRR. this morning...
it's soul-sucking to be on the receiving - caring end of it - i don't care like i used to. i can envision myself in a life (now) without him in it sometimes. it's a sad sad realization- they will shove it down our throats won't they???
they might be nuts - but it doesn't make it alright tho- does it??? like, if you kill someone while you're crazy- they still are dead and gone and painful for their loved ones - no matter how sane you get later. i am totally not so sure what one id gonna feel if they ever crawl out of their self-indulgent tunnel- maybe we're waiting at the other end (like a mole or varmit) (well- not me , but some people) with a shovel to just womp them over the head!!! maybe it all never goes away again- maybe once you realize they're capable of such insanity or cruelty - you can't ever go back to liking them or trusting them. i'm very very exotic this morning aren't I - no extra charge for exaggerations...
i think it's because we're the kind of people that "understand" and make allowances, etc. til our eyes bleed. but maybe there is a point of no-retrievableness . i've often thought i don't believe that the worst criminals are savable- that if you can kill once and see it as a "solution" or "acceptable" - you always might- given the right circumstance3s. that you're just - THAT KIND of person. should stay locked up.
i'm still stuck in the "it's their choice" thing- to one extent or another. i just can't get to the place of "me first - everyone else can go die- me first me first me first"
i am being a bit dramatic- sorry, i exaggerate sometimes.
guess for my h it's an only child kind of thing. i feel sorry and wouldn't ever want to be that. i may be a giant jacka$$ doormat- that's okay with me when i think of the alternative- ALLLLL ABOUT ME. what a way to go thru life.
yeah- the darn kids- they make me laugh like mad. taylor and i sit there tossing beanbags - you k now, hot potato- as fast as we can back & forth (about six) - what the heck is so darn hysterical about hitting each other with beanbags? i'm askin ya. and then occasionally the baby gets in the line of fire- even more hysterical. idk- simple pleasures huh?
THANK GOD there are others out there that can accept love & caring and return it- even if it's a baby or a dog or whatever one can find. and laughing- soooo simple with kids & babies. i swear- before we get allll RUINED by society and rules and "upbringing" - how great life would be if we just stay childlike and accepting and so forth.
WHAT IS IT that takes that out of us???? in life. lose the faith, trust, happiness, simplicity????
idk dawn- this woman has no answers.
i'm glad to hear ya this morning- hang on man- it's gonna be a big ride but you've stepped in adn begun. it's exciting kind of- to know one's direction- i'm feelin it vicariously- sometimes i actually look forward to when i'm "on my way" instead of waiting and waiting.
