Getting back on the horse gracefully....

[JustStunned]

I think it is perfectly reasonable to have expectations.

In my experience issues with expectations occur when they are unrealistic, unspoken, misunderstood or a moving target.

Character is demonstrated when you can say what you feel and state expectations in any situation, especially those involving loved ones. It is here with our loved ones where we leave ourselves vulnerable. The unspoken unrealized expectation caused significant damage in my past relationships.

“If they loved me they would XXXXX as a function and degree of their love for me.” “Since they haven’t they must not love me” So begins a rollercoaster and IMO was a source for cognitive dissonance exhibited by my X. I admit to some of this stinking thinking.

Don’t wait for the situation to escalate to an unhealthy level before stating expectations boundaries and feelings.

I apologize for the rant and hijack.