Barb, I think a lot of what is going on with B is that he wants to make it on his own but the rug was pulled out from under him when his dad left and now what perhaps thought would be certainties no longer are. Betsey's idea of a loving letter sounds like a good idea. Let him know how proud you are of him and what does seem to have gone right with him. Also that you will support him in his endeavors.

A, well the part is over...at your house at least. Maybe she was looking for a safe place to be reckless. Escaping responsibilities and perhaps a fear of where her relationship with her BF might be headed. Time to send her home.

Perfectionism to me is a sign of insecurity. You think by controlling yourself so stringently that you can exert that same control on your surroundings. A big crash is going to come when she fails at something, when she can't make the world act the way she wants.

So much easier being on the outside isn't it? Can I shuffle the deck of cards that is my life and get a better hand?

The worry and stress from S17 has been going on for over the past few years from his not talking about the divorce, to sneaking out at night, to skipping and to the latest situation. I feel so drained and I hate that I don't know how to get him back on track. We had been so close or was that just an illusion? Everything with the other kids is well at the moment but I would be lying if I told you my birthday wish was going to be for me. Now I just have to think of all encompassing wish that is probably right on par with world peace.

kat

Me-53(and learning!)
S24, S21, D18, D17
Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory