Hoping for WAS to come home

[lost_hope]

Jax, I continue to see so many similarities in our sitches and I have the same nice guy behaviors. When are we going to get the picture? THEY DON'T WANT US RIGHT NOW. We need to give that space to them and stop focusing on them.

I still find myself hanging onto every conversation, every word, hoping for a "good day," etc. to give me some semblance of hope. It's sad and pathetic at times. This isn't a sprint. This isn't even a marathon. This is a trek around the world! They'll never miss us if we don't leave them alone.



ETC

I am starting to believe this for my H and M. I don't think he will ever miss me unless we are apart so I think when we move I am going to ask him to leave (which he claims he wants to do) even though it will be hard with a newborn.

Anyway, Jax, my opinion (and I may be way off base here) is that you should only help her if it's an extreme emergency (fire, major flooding, break in) or if it it any way affects your kids (fix something of theirs, do something for them). Otherwise, she wants to be on her own so she should know what it's like to be on her own. That's the path she chose and you have to act as if you believe her and you are moving on, or better yet start moving on. If she were to remain the same, how long would you go on doing things for her in her separate house? At a certain point it would have to stop. This is a fine line to walk though b/c you also don't want to be mean. From what you've told us you are Mr. Nice Guy and maybe she doesn't really appreciate it. So from a 180 perspective you are going to have to stop being so nice with her anyway. Don't be mean, but don't be as available.

I don't know what's going on with your W but I don't necessarily thinks there's another M as someone else said. It may be a psychological thing for her, in which case she will need to work things out on her own. In the meantime, you have to show her the best "you" you can be.