I'm with you - they might have had some depression or made some bad choices anyway but they have no doubt habit aggravated by the breakup of the family.
When we were splitting ( & I was screaming "how can you do this to your family?") he very glibly replied - "the kids will bounce back"... Well nobody's bouncing around here. We have more Eyeores than Tiggers.
I've suggested counseling to S31 which he is strongly opposed to. Acts like I think he's nuts. Causes him to shut down with me. No idea where to go next other than to let him know I'm here & keep trying to make some plans for visits etc.
