This is part of the roller coaster ride, you will start to get confused about what she's doing. My H is confusing me at the mo. I've rang him and text him about the roof leaking in the conservatory. It's been 2 days now and he's still not replied to me. I don't know why, he normally does! Now you may think this is obsessive behaviour, but the leak is really bad in the conservatory and he's said that if it ever leaks then he'll come round to sort it! I still think you're worrying too much about why your W is sending you these emails and why does she need the documents for the car? You have to start having a who cares attitude. She may have opened up a bit, but that doesn't mean things are going to be resolved overnight. Don't try to read what she's doing as she will only confuse you. These WAS display very confusing behaviour because they are confused. I'm going to hit you with a 2x4 to knock some sense into you, lol. Whack! here it comes! lol. I'm not contacting H again until he contacts me and if the conservatory roof gets worse then I can't be blamed. It will just undervalue the house more!
H47 me48 T22 M21 S20 - Got high functioning autism 3/2000 H admits to OW and moves out to live with her 11/2000 H moves back home 2/4/13 H moves out H tells me he wants D 6/13, but now he can't afford to!
I never liked roller coasters anyways and I certainly dont like this one. I HAVE TO STAY short and to the point AND I KNOW THIS. And yet, I answer all her questions in a very nice manner. A couple hours ago I gave her the info she asked about again and she hasnt even responded with a thank you. After all the emails she sent today, Oh well, looks like I am going to have to force myself to ride this roller coaster....
Yeah! He's finally got it!! Looks like I did knock some sense into you after all What GALs are you doing at the moment?
H47 me48 T22 M21 S20 - Got high functioning autism 3/2000 H admits to OW and moves out to live with her 11/2000 H moves back home 2/4/13 H moves out H tells me he wants D 6/13, but now he can't afford to!
Ah yes I remember reading this thread I want ot get this book but it's only available in the US and will take 2-3 weeks to get it shipped over here. Thanks for reminding me about this thread, it's helpful at this moment as my H has distanced himself from me. I hope you read this thread as well 2old
H47 me48 T22 M21 S20 - Got high functioning autism 3/2000 H admits to OW and moves out to live with her 11/2000 H moves back home 2/4/13 H moves out H tells me he wants D 6/13, but now he can't afford to!
Great thread cadet..thank you I am reading it closely. Thing here is WAW began this contact knowing well I would be willing to answer her questions. Although friendlier than has been in 11 weeks you can still feel the coolness of her. So yes, I am going to continue my no contact with her and only respond to her if she continues contacting me. I'm really not sure about ignoring her completely though. That is something which I could do if it is regards to something very igsignificant. And yes, I see why its works, the stopping contact. She seems to be typical of any number of reasons why they behave this way. As you said trying180, its gonna be a loooong time before things come to a final outcome whichever way it goes. What I do realize is this crap is going to go on for quite a looong time unfortunately.
I think you've finally got the idea of 180s I had a support worker round today and she suggested tweaking my life a bit. She said that because I'm always busy that my H might've felt that he was being left behind. She suggested inviting him on a family outing, but something he wants to do rather than something that me and my son want to do. I've thought of the perfect excuse. I'll find an event on at our local stately home and ask him to drive us there as we can't get there by bus. He's not likely to just drop us off and go is he? Also I need to schedule in some time to work on cleaning and tidying the house. I'm so busy doing things outside the house, that the house gets neglected. This apparently is one of my H's complaints that I found out about through a friend. I'm going to start giving these 2 things a go. What do you all think?
H47 me48 T22 M21 S20 - Got high functioning autism 3/2000 H admits to OW and moves out to live with her 11/2000 H moves back home 2/4/13 H moves out H tells me he wants D 6/13, but now he can't afford to!
Well, obviously I'm no expert here but sounds like something I would try if I had the opportunity to. You might know better than most what he would say about doing this with your family right? I guess I am figuring out there are no right answers when having to deal with WAS. Yes, detaching or going no contact is one answer but, then there comes the times when contact is initiated by WAS and you either ignore or you respond. Cadet is correct that since I quit initiating, W has decided to contact even though it was for something she wanted. BUt then again, she did provide me with her new phone number unexpectedly. I have also found that one can have a MLC at any age or at least symptoms similiar to MLC. The threads I have been reading indicate most WAS could fall into this category also. So trying180, in my humble opinion if you feel asking H to a family outing might have some results then maybe you should do it. The only real thing that could happen is he says no and you start again with no contact. Again, there are no real doggone answers unless you are using this stuff to completely detach and move on...I think thats what this is all about.
You sent me a post and asked for my advice, so here it is. So far, your W has simply asked you questions when she made contact. Until she starts saying more, you need to just drop it and get out and GAL. You have hashed, thrashed, and diced her few emails to pieces.
It is important that the WAW has to work hard to get the LBH back again. As you as you are trying to help her get you back.....she won't want ya.
If you will go forward and enjoy your life, her D will probably be telling your W how great you're doing. BTW, you are not to "tell" her D how wonderful you are doing. People have a way of hearing these things without our help.
Do you want a W who doesn't love you? Don't you deserve to have a woman who loves you? Then why would you try to force a woman to have a R with you if she doesn't want it?
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
What GALs are you doing at the moment?