I was a huge controller too, so I get it. It was very difficult for me to see it too....took quite a few clubs on the head from some good folks here for me to wrap my hands around it.
Originally Posted By: forlovessake
For example: I want him to love being a dad and for D to be his #1 priority.
I also want him to be thoughtful and respectful oft time and family functions
I just want him to actors mature; to be an involved dad and husband who enjoys time with his family and gets satisfaction in doing hobbies D enjoys as well vs the teenage social behavior he often displays.
Do you see the control in every one of these comments?
Do you see that you have absolutely no control over any of these things? You don't get a vote in any of this. These are all his choices to make, whether you like it or not.
What you can control is YOU. That's it.
Originally Posted By: forlovessake
I think I control because a) I'm afraid of rejection and b) (and this is the big one) because I want H to be something or someone he's not.
So dig into the rejection...where does that come from? Why do you feel that way?
On the second piece, go back and look at those things above. Why do you think you want those things?
