like most addicts, he won't give her up w/o a fight. In his mind, you'll continue to put up w/this behavior and he's needs to face the reality of his actions and now is the time to do so. You and your family can't continue to live this way for years and years. It's not healthy.
I need him to be away from us so we can begin to build as a family through the changes, good and bad. I can't live w the black cloud of anger and rebellion over us, I can feel it!
If you would like to communicate off line, please let me know. Your posting sounds like you need a friend to support you through this.
Yes, I would like to talk, I really don't have anyone, after all this time most don't understand.
I have only told my BIL [bible counselor] and a long time friend of H's (life coach] the absolute truth. They have gone from the advise of MWD, to now saying it's time he must go.
I am absolutely afraid, once again, his work has given him a direction he is furious about and refusing to follow.
His anger is extreme, he is talking out scenarios [to his boss] angrily in a low voice to himself. His face is like a prune filled w angry lines. His hand punched out the lattice on my screen door, yes he was instantly remorseful, shocked, and admitted being awakened by the crash from an angry trance.
My fear is not him or his strength or destruction, it's the fact that he is still unable to handle adjustments in life. He said he will melt into my couch if he resigns and dig himself deep into the tunnel.
Regardless of the outcome at work, he has clearly shown where he is at mentally and it is unexceptable to me. I have told him he has thru fall to move out, before TGing, but I am not sure how to execute that.
He won't go unless I do it forcefully, he has said he's not going to volunteer to leave his family. He asked me to ignore him, he's not being a bad man, or sleeping around, he's trying to suppress his anger while home and be useful w chores at the same time.
He's right, he's not a bad man, he is just making it were this is our life now, no need to work on oneself, no need for a healthy mind, no R for me, and freedom for him.
I'm not at piece, that's all that counts now.
UR~ It is not quitting to tell your h he needs to go. It is self care.
I fully understand this, and honestly I am not really opposed to quitting on him at least for a very long while.
I strongly believe as he himself said just 2 days ago, he needs to hit rock bottom very hard, or he will continue to seek rock bottom if it kills him, his words.
I don't want any part of that! I do need to self care!
