Sounds great! We're just gonna hit some balls, right? Because I'm ashamed to say there are cobwebs on my bag and I'm not near ready enough to tee off. Let me know.
I don't know what to say about Dave. Sigh. I'm beginning to realize that I know less about dating now than when I was truly on the dating circuit years ago. I'm thinking I should play for the other team. If SD lived here, I'd have to consider that. She's a sweetie.
Ultimately, I think my own Mr. Right is going to have embarked on the path of enlightenment like we've done here. It's certainly helpful.
Wii, Barb and Kat, sounds like we're all having a different summer with our kids, complete with very grown up lessons. I had my own come to Jesus talk with D19 last Monday, and although it went as well as it could, things are still just off. She leaves back to NY 2 weeks from today. I'm a little sad about it, but not really. I think I'd like to go back to missing her for awhile.
In my house, our lesson seems to also have the theme of perfectionism. Wii, it's also something I live with. First my sister, and D19. In this case D19 has had an amazing diet and exercise regime to get into prime shape for volleyball season. I don't know where she lost 13 lbs, but she's ripped and looks awesome. She's been eating a low carb, high lean protein diet and all organic to boot. I'm proud of her for her willpower and determination.
But I draw the line when it comes with finger pointing and judgement about me, D16 and her dad. Last Monday, I had to put a stop to it. I told her while she is probably right that we could do better, when is the judgement going to stop applying to food and not seep into other judgements? She asked for an example and I gave it to her. She didn't like it and told me that I gave her something to think about and she was sorry for constantly giving me advice when I hadn't asked for it.
I'm summarizing. It was far more passionate and pointed than I'm sharing here. Ultimately I let her know that people who like to criticize others without knowing if they have facts are typically unhappy with themselves... And that their self talk is unusually hostile. I reminded her that none of us is perfect, but we can love each other anyway. I also told her that her dad and I love her beyond words, and that we'd be there for her. That we don't expect perfection from her. I got a humble reaction.
I didn't raise her to tell others "what they need to hear" when it wasn't asked for.
I ended my chat with her by telling her that I want my tombstone to say, "she was a good friend and mother." Not "she had a good diet and was right most of the time." That seemed to resonate with her.
Anyway, my thoughts are with all of you. I think parenting is tougher now. You walk a tightrope between being supportive and offering unsolicited advice. I've been trying all year to ask more questions from her than making statements. I sure hope this pays off some day. Some days are tougher than others.
All I do know is in 2 weeks, D16 and I won't have to feel like felons when going out for froyo. With extra toppings...
So that's what is going on in my house lately.
Betsey
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
