I am titanium

[AJM]

Raine, one other thought that came to mind. It might help to keep some perspective. I know for me, it was easy to spin and lose perspective. It's the only thing in my life I've had that issue with before or since. Go figure

My shot at perspective, regardless of what he thinks or feels.
1) you don't want to leave him when he's down or needs help. You feel you aren't that kind of person. I applaud that. I'm that way as well and recall feeling that same way for a long time. Still do. I don't hate my ex. I don't wish her ill will. I don't feel sorry for her any longer either though. There's a cutoff. There always is that ability and a time when you can't help somebody. You'll know your true limits as you get there. No worries there.
2) you told him, (and I paraphrase) "get help, or get out. Stop disrespecting me regardless of what you feel." I think that, in and of itself is incredibly powerful and very strong of you. I know it didn't feel great at the time. I know you feel you said it in anger. I disagree in the sense that this has been a long long time coming, for you to say.
3) He told you he can't handle it. He can't handle confrontation. He is, essentially, broken. As if that wasn't obvious before, but it helps.
4) you feel more in control with that knowledge. I'm quick to point out, you always have been. You just have more knowledge than before, but you have the same choices and you are the same person. Something to ponder for future situations, no?

You're awesome Raine. It's sad. But I think you did absolutely the right thing, and in a compassionate way. That's class and a level of integrity people wish they had, sister. No question.

Peace,
AJ