Quote: P.S. I am thinking you could write a whole book here Wiley.
Yes Wonder, you're probably right..matter of fact, maybe I should..Lets see..what would I call it?...hmmmm...maybe.."How CASUALLY dating while your WA IS HAVING AN AFFAIR, may help save your M"...
Who knows, if its a hit...maybe I'll land on Oprah, Dr. Phil..60 Minutes, the whole shibang...
Thanks for the idea, think I'll start gathering all the excerpts I've got about LBS whose sitchs were seemingly hopeless..UNTIL..among other things..they started to you know what...
Thanks for all the x-tra support/advice last night.....I feel quite strong today. Nothing new to report, just that I am finally caught up on most posts I am following.
You are sounding really good. When your WAS is out of the house there is a certain amount of sanity you get back since you don't have there nonsense around you as much. You Go Girl!!!
I'm not sure if it's that I really want my M to work or if it's just the challenge that won't make me quit??
Thanks for stopping by my thread. Wiley I could use your advice if you get a chance.
Thanks for visiting my post, too. I love this mutual ciber-support stuff here on the BB.
Just a quick update: H called early this am, woke me up! He had left a voicemail yesterday....didn't ask me to call back, so I didn't!! H asked brief questions about our kids, his sis that I saw last week-end. Then he mentioned coming here Sun, cuz S will be here part of the day. I said that would work out well. He then mentioned that maybe he would come out Sat...see the dog (?), catch up on things without S around, etc. Asked if I had plans on Sat. I said "not so far, and that might work out fine"....then he said, well if something comes up for either one of us we can play Sat by ear. I said, "Yeah, let's just wing it." He then told me a bit about work stuff...possible changes. I comenserated...and agreed like a friend. That was all. He said, "I've tried to call a few times (he doesn't leave messages for the most part) and you've been quite busy since you got home Monday. I said, "Yup...keeping busy with work, friends, and just catching up on things."
Thought I handled that pretty well, (and without my fix of morning coffee!!)
It's hard doing this detachment, friend-thing....but I'm giving it all I got.
So your H wants to come out to see the dog? LOL Oh the things they come up with. My H made a point to see me so he could borrow a camera. Even though he could buy a disposable one for less than 5.00 at probably 10 places within walking distance of his house. Oh my they are unreal!
The other thing I see is that he TOLD you he has tried to call, but obviously didn't get you. Hummmm I think he noticed that!
I think you handled it well with or without the caffine!
You go girl and maybe you just will have plans on Sat. Taking the dog for a ride or something.
Water....good advice about Sat. I have thought thru it a lot since yesterday, and H being to wishy-washy about getting together SAt, makes me want to make plans. I do want to see him, but don't think I'll be available IF he does call. (HE hasn't, yet). I will see him Sun, with S, that's what we planned....so that will have to be enough.
I am working so hard on this detachment stuff. I printed off the Detachment section by Sue (Patience") that B-writer referred to. It's good.
I had my small group last night. I felt like the real Mooka....I was fun, telling stories, sharing spirital info (as we all do)...and I left there thinking....I AM getting back on track....I AM becoming my ole self again. It felt good, and people were drawn to that. That's how I want to continue each day....and want H to see me that way....not the ole "tenative Mooka" I had become the last several months in the LIMBO-LAND with H. Maybe that's a silver lining in this S, that I am gaining strength in who I am again....and getting clearer on what I want out of life.
Quote: and I left there thinking....I AM getting back on track....I AM becoming my ole self again. It felt good, and people were drawn to that. That's how I want to continue each day....and want H to see me that way....not the ole "tenative Mooka" I had become the last several months in the LIMBO-LAND with H. Maybe that's a silver lining in this S, that I am gaining strength in who I am again....and getting clearer on what I want out of life.
YES, YES, YES
I have noticed this too (on occasion... not as often as I like, but working on it) and LOVE IT. Find that I like ME, like being ME... so, whatever happens, happens. We will be better, regardless!
Relax. Appreciate. Be calm. Laugh. Enjoy. Be secure. Be loving. Be loved. Don't personalize. Don't ASSume. Accept. Be grateful.
Quote: getting clearer on what I want out of life.
Unforunately, the one thing I want out of life, to have my W back is not a priority for her. This has become so complicated, but it really is so simple.
And it is disappointing we had to get to this point in our lives, to rediscover ourselves.
Pam- Thanks for the quick reply. I think you are centered and reminding us all to do the same!
As for my day, today....H called around noon ( let it go to VM) and said he was staying in the city, not coming out to the house. He will come out tomorrow morning to hang with me and son. Said call me if you have anything urgent to discuss. Soooooo....I, of course, did NOT call and took off for a long walk with the dog. Got some exercise and had some talks with God.
Then got home and ran errands all afternoon. I had a VM from H both on my cell and at home....but still he did not ask me to call. He was just wondering about my plans to pick up Son tonight. So, decided not to contact him...cuz there is nothing "Urgent" to discuss. I might leave him a VM saying I'm en route to get son and will see him tomorrow.
Just trying to keep the detachment thing going. All you support here on the BB is really helping me stay on track....thanks to everyone. This would be impossible alone!!!
I said, "Yeah, let's just wing it." He then told me a bit about work stuff...possible changes. I comenserated...and agreed like a friend. That was all. He said, "I've tried to call a few times (he doesn't leave messages for the most part) and you've been quite busy since you got home Monday. I said, "Yup...keeping busy with work, friends, and just catching up on things." 