Surviving Separation

[slow_it_down]

Sometimes it's easy to get lost in these threads and so this week I went back and reread DR. The boards tend to recommend not getting your hopes up over things, but in the book Michele says to celebrate and recognize baby steps.

Today I'm celebrating that my H said "thanks, that means a lot" when I agreed to respect his wishes on something. He even used my name in the text mssg which seemed like a lot of extra words when I wasn't even expecting a thank you at all.

Also, after the late night run in w/ OW I thought for sure he'd disappear on me for awhile. Since she clearly got ahold of his phone I figured he would avoid contacting me at all costs to keep her happy and prove im nothing to him. I saw the makings of a big setback, but then today he reached out for some info he old have found elsewhere. It felt nice to have him count on me for something, and while I don't think he was trying to use the info as an excuse to connect, he also wasn't avoiding me at all costs after i got him in trouble w/ OW so that's good right?

Unrelated, I'm really struggling w/ how to navigate my kids experience in all of this. They are from a previous relationship but really miss their step dad. Anything I do regarding them will come off as pressure . I can't tell him they miss him bc I don't want him to come around out of guilt. I can't let them call him bc they will ask where he is and when he's coming home.

After weeks of not saying anything they are suddenly asking about him a lot. I try to remember that if we all give him space these days of pain, even for them, will be worth it. It's just hard and 'out of my hands' as to whether or not he wants a relationship w/ them outside of our marriage.