Speaking of the cats. Need some timely advice on this one!
She just texted me that she wanted to take the older cat (she hates the other one) and she wanted to come straight after work, and it's ok if I'm there (usually wants me to be somewhere else if she's picking stuff up).
We've never discussed splitting up the cats. She just assumed she'd take him, like she assumed she'd live in the new house and take the car.
I'd like more time with the cat as long as I'm here anyway. On the other hand, last time we went through this, letting her take our cat to her apartment was a way that I got to visit later, and let her see me looking good, in some new clothes, and looking trim. That surprised her a lot. And I kept the convo short and ended it and left without hanging out or being needy.
But, you know this time I've been answering all texts, too soon and with too much info. Maybe I should let this one go by. She can always ask again later....
She just texted again saying "it doesn't look like you've been keeping the place clean and Winston (the cat) didn't look very happy."
So now it's turned into something that's my fault again. :-(Believe me, the place is as clean or cleaner than it was when she was here. And the few times I was at the other house when she started living there, it was a total mess.
She said Monday after work would also be ok. Still thinking of not answering. At least for the 48 hr rule?
Thanks catperson. She kept on texting, so I figured I'd better say something. She said "or am I just not allowed to have a cat?" I wasn't that succinct, but I did say "I'm sorry I didn't appreciate the work you did here or help enough." I wish I'd have worded it like you said - more her and less me! I told her Monday would be ok, but I wanted to see him too.
She answered back that I can see him some weekends, "if I don't give her a hard time about paperwork signing, and stuff" <sigh> (visitation rights for a cat - see what happens with us childless couples).
But, we're back to the way she's always been, though about being independent (not). She said she might have to use the CC to buy some furniture because "she's giving me all the furniture." And "I don't know if you're willing to split that expense."
This is where it's hard to not be a doormat.... Last week it was "you need to get your own credit card" when I used it for a rental care because she left me here with no car. I'm just letting that one sit for a while. Not sure what changed there. I know she's always been selfish. She's acknowledged that fault herself. She was a single child and was basically neglected and has always really struggled with ideas of what's fair and of sharing. Anyway....
At least she's stopped telling me about R with OM every time and how she's found a connection with someone, blah blah blah.... Used to get that with every text/email.
"Its the first time she's acknowledged any concern for my situation ans wellbeing."
It's not concern. WASs will often say things like that to alleviate their own guilt. If she was worried about your well being, she would mention options.
Don't respond.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
Could be guilt, could be concern, could be a mix of both. Trying not to assign too much too it. But I do detect a lot of guilt lately, and definately still a lot of the provoking behavior.
Have to remember that "don't believe anything she says and only half of what you see" applies to things that sound good or bad.
It's a marathon, not a sprint. Staying the course.
Got the jungle... er, lawn mowed today, and trimmed a tree that was hanging over the house. Not the most exciting GAL activity, but it was nice to be out and getting some excercise. And it was cloudy, breezy and cool.
