Quote: I'm thinking about my journey and NOT feeling sad.
Would like to get there. Someday, I hope.
I think your heart knows what to do about energy you feel from other people. But it is no doubt a confusing and weird but good feeling. A definite ego boost, but strange and new.
Thanks so much for keeping up with my sitch and the continued support.
Wiley....your step by step guidance seems to be working for me. Who knows what's going on in H's mind...but for now my PMA and ego are strenghtening. I'm acting cautiously with MF...will see him tonight at our regular mtg. Kind of looking forward to it...he is easy on the eyes (did I mention that?), not to mention kind, compassionate, and open in group with thoughts and feelings. Oh well.
Holding, you made a good point regarding "raw emotions"...I will take that advice very seriously. My goals with new MF would be just that, friendship....from a male perspective. I'll keep you posted for continued advice here at BB.
H called and left a message this morning...I was gone. He is travelling and said he would call again today or tomorrow. I am in and out today and tonight. Funny, he rarely calls my cell. I can control answering that very easily..
Just a brief update. Got back from my ALPHA mtg....such a wonderful, spiritual small group of loving, wise, seasoned people. I'm thankful to find these people. Saw my MF there....he was pleasant. Sat by me. He and I will at the most develop a friendship....that's all... He knows my current sitch and is very respectful and kind. He is also dealing with is own family issues.
Got home to find a nice email from H. At least nice for him. The past few have been short and to the point regarding our kid's issues. This one was friendly, he was happy about my car purchase, hoped to talk with me soon, and hoped I had a good trip to see my Mom in AZ. Told me to take care and he would call in the morning to catch up.
Guess that's as warm as he will get for now.
I'm taking good care of ME this week, I feel contented and at peace the last several days. That's what it's all about...Bless all of you.
Quote: I'm taking good care of ME this week, I feel contented and at peace the last several days. That's what it's all about...Bless all of you.
Yes, that really IS what it is all about. Using this time of horrible-ness to find ourselves, grow, stretch and become the people the Lord wants us to be. Good for you, Mooka.
Relax. Appreciate. Be calm. Laugh. Enjoy. Be secure. Be loving. Be loved. Don't personalize. Don't ASSume. Accept. Be grateful.
I am back from visiting my Mom in AZ. Got tons done for her...taxes, cleaning & organizing closets, getting rid of junk, etc. It was fun and accomplished a lot. My sis and Mom do not know about our s. It was kind of weird keeping that to myself, but she is aging....and she would have been devistated. I will tell her when I HAVE to.
Being distracted from my sitch was good. WE laughed, got fresh air, saw some relatives.
Did not hear from H, but both kids called to check in. H called first thing this morning and asked briefly about my trip. Said he was glad I made it home safely. (Hmmm??) H mentioned coming over Sun when S is home to hang out. I said, sure that would be fine.
Not much else in the conv. He beat me to the punch for getting off the phone, gotta work on that one.
I have plans tonight and Thur night this week. Gotta keep busy....that helps so much. Working a lot this week too.
I do miss H so much....and still long for us to be back together. I wonder often, if that's just a pipe dream. I keep trying to give it to God....and re-reading part of DR to keep my PMA booosted. Had a few moments of sadness and tears yesterday....but then got over it.
Sounds like you had a great trip! How good it feels to get so much accomplished.
That is great that your H called YOU and first thing too!
I know I have those times of downness too. Thats ok and probably expected since who wouldn't be drained by all of this. The good thing though is that you identified it and now have gotten back on the PMA track!
Welcome back..I have not been around much..but life seems ok for you right now..I know it's tough..but youa re strong and your h certainly seems like he is not ready to give up on the m.Respect the time away..it did me wonders.
About your mf..BE VERY CAREFUL....I know a bunch have already said that...friends are one things..attractions and chemistry are another.
Sounds like your trip was a nice visit, esp. given the "take care of Mooka first" strategy! Sorry I haven't been by lately, but I am catching up now.
Quote: I know it's tough..but you are strong and your h certainly seems like he is not ready to give up on the m.
I have to agree. Keep doing what you're doing because something is definitely working here!
You're on the right track, Mooka. Watch out for the MF... I have a few good MFs and Sue is right... chemistry and attraction are something you need to be aware of and thinking about. Have you read Shirley Glass' book Not Just Friends? I'm reading it now, and she writes a lot-- and very wise things-- about this topic.
wonder
P.S. I'm thinking you could write a whole book here, Wiley.
