Not much new to report, but I like keeping a journal of what's going on.
Since Sunday when I laid down my boundary on texting other men, my W sent and received texts to a guy from her gym. She let me see them, and they are innocent enough -- asking when the gym session was meeting that evening since the gym is having the roof redone, they are meeting someplace else. She came to me about 10 minutes after I checked and started saying how she has no friends, the people she meets at the gym are her friends and she was deeply sad and teary-eyed.
Sometimes I think the boundary should be find another gym, but then I think even if she agreed, she would just meet other men there. It's not any particular guy, its my W and her need to flirt with just about anyone.
Clearly this bothers me greatly!
Meanwhile, we have a somewhat normal relationship. Some highlights:
1. My W takes my two oldest girls to summer camp in the morning (I do pickups). She leaves for work with them at 7:30, they sit in the car reading books until about 8:30 when my W is supposed to take them to the camp. On Monday was the 3rd time she forget they were out in the car! The first time she forget and got them at 9:30. The second time, she forgot and at 11:30 my oldest came up to her office to get her. On this occurence, my 10 year old was crying because she had to go the bathroom and didn't know how to find my W's office. On this 3rd time, my 10 year told me she looked for my W's office couldn't find it, and then on a final attempt, "she followed a scrub jay" and found my W's office.
My 10 year old has a care-free and happy personality, but she is also very sensitive.
I hate that this is happening to my girls because I think they feel abandoned/rejected by their mom. My W feels terrible about this too, but she seems to try to hide it. On the second occasion where she completely forget until 11:30, she emailed me what happened in a matter-of-fact way, and wrote, "... yes, I'm a terrible mom." I didn't comment or complain. The next morning after the 3rd time, I said to my W, "do you want me to send you an Outlook calendar reminder?" Initially she started to react angrily, but then caught herself and said no, she was going to put an alarm in her phone.
2. In my 22 years of marriage, I have never gone to the barber for a haircut. My W did it. After BD, as part of my GAL and giving my W space, instead of asking her for a haircut I started going to the hairdresser. My W did notice. In a OR talk about 2 months ago, she told me that this hurt her that I didn't want her to cut my hair anymore.
So last night I asked my W to cut my hair. I sit in the chair, and my W caresses my head and kisses me softly on the forehead. I joked with her that I didn't get that attention at the hairdresser.
It is this behavior that I find very confusing. I wonder if she is "trying out" being intimate with me?
So I started by saying not much to report, yet it seems I could fill pages with just what happened over a couple of days
