In regards to writing the letter, in my opinion, no....leave it be. Pretty much everything you say right now will be misconstrued or, at the very least, annoy her. It's so hard, I really understand that, the first three months for me I wanted to talk to my H all the time to try and make him understand. I wasn't too bad, I don't think, I only tried 3-4 times and I still got no where.
My H has very little contact with me directly but since I've gone dark and have made GAL even more my mantra and started 180 I've heard through the grape vine that he's making the tiniest of comments about how hard he's finding it. I was desperate to "fix" my H and my M and it's only possible if I work on myself while he works on himself .....whatever form that takes for the WAS at the moment. My H complained I was the dictator, in a way I was, I am also the fixer and the problem solver of our relation ship and its been a brick wall for me to understand that my old ways of dealing with H are just NOT going to work.
She does feel shame and guilt but she's unable to recognize it in herself right now and it's not your job to force her to see it. Running away is also perfectly true......my H has run so far no one knows exactly where he lives. No one! Does it freak me out? Sure does! He drives an hour to and from work on a route I don't know. Him room gets no cell reception so if something happens to him, or I need to call about my boys, I can't get ahold of him.....I have not commented on this once.
I'm new to this too and I'm sure some of the more seasoned people here have better advice but I truly wish you peace in your heart and joy in your life
M 16 T 20 M 41 H 39 S 19 S 15 Bomb drop April 4; Moved out April 13 D started-full force ----------------------- Dancing through the fire Cause I am a champion and you’re gonna hear me ROAR
