One giant leap forward! - Part 2

[Fartiltre]

T,

What are your thoughts on Retrouville at the end of September? I hear it is very good and I think it only happens once a year in the UK

I would go!
I have spoken with the people behind retro in UK and it’s nice people. Give them a call! Just google them and you will have all the info you need!
Their results seem to be splendid!

I have never been to Retrouville, but based on what I have read, I would encould you to present it to your W. If she agrees to go with you, that will be a good sign. But if she makes up excuses, not so good.

I agree and would like to ask you: isn’t this kind of commitment exactly what you are looking for?

I would focus on the communication part of retro if I ever get the chance to present it! IMO their homepage is a little too much “save the world” but since I don’t know your W I can’t tell.


I am keeping my fingers crossed! It seems you are moving fast in the right direction and you are doing well!

All the best!

F

[T1000]

I was thinking that it was your W that had said in past months that she needed to see one but was on a waiting list, or trying to get the assistance for one.

If she doesn't believe she needs individual counseling, i don't see how you could force her......and it be beneficial for her. You were trying to get her help. But you can hold out for marriage counseling. I don"t believe it will survive without it.

I have never been to Retrouville, but based on what I have read, I would encould you to present it to your W. If she agrees to go with you, that will be a good sign. But if she makes up excuses, not so good.

She did say in February that she had been put on the waiting list to see a therapist. It wasn't for her behaviour that I have witnessed it was just someone for her to talk too.
I don't know if she is still on the list or not.

Unless she does something about it, sooner or later I think it will come up again. If it is aimed at me and I can handle it correctly and not let it effect me it will either make her realize what she needs to do or she could be stuck like that for a long time.

I have spoken to the people at Retrouville and I cannot believe how helpful they come across. I told them about my financial concerns and they are so accommodating. Logistically with sorting out the kids and the 4 hour drive there and back would be hard but I think do-able.

[T1000]

I had this response from a MC and I would like opinions on what he said as he is not solution based:

Thank you for your email regarding Counselling.

I work as a person-centred Counsellor with individuals and couples. This approach isn't really solution based. In solution based Counselling goals are set and the Counsellor has some control and direction in how the sessions are structured. The way that I use Counselling is to offer a place which is accepting and understanding to you both so you both feel able to explore your difficulties and talk openly to one another. You are in control of the sessions in terms of content and direction.

I do feel that I am able to offer support to couples in your position but I often recommend an initial session of Counselling where we can all meet and discuss this further to see if we are suitable to work together. There is no obligation to continue after this session but it can often help in your decision about whether I am the right Counsellor for you.

Tbh it sounds like we could just be arguing over the same stuff but with someone I have to pay to do it in their office.

[T1000]

T,

What are your thoughts on Retrouville at the end of September? I hear it is very good and I think it only happens once a year in the UK

I would go!
I have spoken with the people behind retro in UK and it’s nice people. Give them a call! Just google them and you will have all the info you need!
Their results seem to be splendid!

I have never been to Retrouville, but based on what I have read, I would encould you to present it to your W. If she agrees to go with you, that will be a good sign. But if she makes up excuses, not so good.

I agree and would like to ask you: isn’t this kind of commitment exactly what you are looking for?

I would focus on the communication part of retro if I ever get the chance to present it! IMO their homepage is a little too much “save the world” but since I don’t know your W I can’t tell.


I am keeping my fingers crossed! It seems you are moving fast in the right direction and you are doing well!

All the best!

F

Thanks F,

The people at Retro do seem very good, I was surprised how good.

This is the type of commitment I want and it will give me an idea how into it she is.

[T1000]

New Thread:
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2370364&#Post2370364

[labug]

Tbh it sounds like we could just be arguing over the same stuff but with someone I have to pay to do it in their office.

The arguing part is up to you and W...

If you want solution-based, this isn't for you.

How are those boundaries coming?

Do you see how this IC issue is related to your boundaries.

You say you want a SBC, this person writes you back and says specifically that's not her model. So you come here and ask what we think instead of saying, I want SBC, this person doesn't do that so therefore, rejected. On to the next.

You Can do this.

[T1000]

I think so.
I set my boundary about something (SBC) and I don't accept it if it's not that way just to go with the flow?

[labug]

Yes!

[T1000]

Boundaries are my black and white with no grey?

[labug]

Yes!

Another might be (I'm taking this from what you said previously) "W, if you continue to call me names, I will end the conversation."
She then has a choice, she continues with the names, you end the convo.