New and need encouragement

[Not Quitting]

Not Q,
I'm def no vet but thought I could offer some support. I totally understand your dilemma. Father vs husband. How do you choose? I know for my own sitch that I would choose my W in a second, granted she want committed to wanting the marriage to work. Your dad will always be your dad and I say that in a nice way. If you choose your dad and sisters are they going to give you what you need and would your husband stick around? Prob not. If you choose your H I bet that your family will understand even if it took some time. It's gotta be tough for a spouse to have to live with an in-law and if you are not getting any space then whoa it will cause problems. Just by reading your last post it seems your H is def interested in your marriage but not willing to live in that situation. Like he feels your not putting him and your marriage first? Just a question cause my W felt she didn't come first, though I swear she's the light of my life after the kids. But if she says she doesn't feel that then it's the truth at least to her or him.

What's your next step? Is your H willing to go to counseling? Have you talked about his commitment level if you got your own place together?

Good luck and stay strong! We are all here with you feeling the same things.

Thanks for the support Jax. Yes family would support me whatever my decision - they've already said that. Dad tries to not to interfere, and as far as I know he's not said anything to H.

Counselling - no - he's already said no to that. Bad experience after the military (PTSD counselling) and won't go back.

H and S13 are the most important things in my life - and I've told him that.

How do I go about asking if he is willing to commit if we had our own place. Isn't that pursuing?