I see so many positives for you. H did get there and everyone was calm and he did mention a lot of positives about the R and what he was feeling and wondered if there was still a spark. And he is willing to meet for breakfast or lunch or something.
I get NONE of this from W. I do not recall her mentioning one positive beyond the children in the last 2-3 months. And we have not met for any lunch or dinner or anything alone since our anniversary trip in Nov. We've been out a couple of times with children and she used to sometimes sit at the table for dinner or breakfast when she was here, but none since she left. I think she took the kids out to dinner last week and I'm sure she will take them somewhere tonight, she's coming to pick them up to spend the night.
Hang in. I think your H really does have feelings and interest in the R and M, but right now he really is confused. Just keep speaking your mind, calmly and you will always have the truth.
You have such great comments, you help me with my PMA.
Re: your w, just remember....I've been working on this pretty hard since last June when bomb hit. You still have lots of time to continue your changes, and see if W responds. Remember in DR, that the WAS needs to see if your changes are for real, not just a temporary adjustment. So continue the patience and continue to make yourself happy when you are able. She'll eventually see your strength, change, confidence, PMA, and all the love you show your children. That's what might get her attention. Actions speak louder than words
Thanks for keeping up with my sitch. I'll check yours out today and see what's up. LOL
Mooka...you go through another rough time..telling your s.It sounds like it went well as well as it can be..I think you have two amazing, strong kids..that you and your h both love and have raised very well..your h sounds sincere and really seems to care about how all three of you feel.. Your strength and faith will help you each day..
You did a GREAT job, way to hold things together under trying circumstances..If it all plays out to a happy ending as I suspect it will, you may look back on this weekend as a turning point. Every side of yourself you've shown to your H since he left all points to a STRONG, CALM, CARING, CONFIDENT, UNDERSTANDING woman, who isn't allowing herself to be doomed and gloomed by the seperation, she's making ALLOWANCE for it and that is a CHALLENGE for him to continue to pull away from (as evidenced by him continuously calling you when he wanted "space"..) because those are ATTRACTIVE traits in a woman...Way to carry yourself, keep it up..
Big hurdle you just jumped, now a new week begins and you see how things go because trust me..it always changes, and how you adapt is key..
Spent most of Sat with S, he looked at cars with me, we went to see the "Passion" together (whew!!), had a home cooked meal.He joined his local friends for a few hours...they were home from college, too.
Sun morning, I went to church on my own. H. came over around 11am, s woke up and we had brunch together. We all hung out, exercied, played pool, and watched b-ball. It was pleasant. Mid afternoon, s wanted a haircut...from me (of course)...H came in and said he was leaving. Quick good-bye to son. Said he would call me tomorrow to schedule our brunch/lunch on Wed (he has Dentist appt near hear). It was awkward, but I said, "ok fine"
About 10 minutes later, H called en route to city and said, "that was awkward saying bye...anything on your mind?" I said "No, not really, but I agreed that was awkward." I said I was glad he called back, cuz it was kind of an abrupt good-bye. We made plans to meet after my staff mtg and his dentist appt. on Wed. We agreed that it was wierd for S to see us feeling awkward.
somehow that meade me feel better, that H called....he felt the tension, I guess.
I spent the rest of the afternoon with s, watching B-ball. He left around 5:30. D called from west coast, wondering how our week-end went with s. I briefed her and she said for me to check my emails from her. I checked, she had emailed me her Sat night....was emotional about friends, roommates, future...etc....was kind of PMS-sing, I guess. She is so open with me.
I forwarded her email to H along with breif note, appreciating that he scrambled his Fri schedule to accomodate s and how he handled our conversation.
So my BB friends and supporters....was that too forward? H and I had agreed to share all kids emails/conversations, so we were both abreast of what's happening with them. i opened the door for kind conversation on the email. Don't think it was too overt. I guess I'm testing the waters.
We'll see. All in all, think the week-end went quite well. I think I anticipate the worst ..and then am ready and prepared, so it acutally goes much better.
Quote: We'll see. All in all, think the week-end went quite well. I think I anticipate the worst ..and then am ready and prepared, so it acutally goes much better.
I like the anticipating the worst idea, then it seems probable anything other than that would be positive. No, you did fine on sending email. If it concerns children, the S is usually receptive and not defensive. And you can know you did what you wanted and not fret over whether you should or shouldn't?
I am trying to remain busy, seeing friends, working some...my contract work has busy weeks and then slower ones (this week appears to have a slow start). I was feeling kind of down most of the afternoon yesterday.... , took a nap late in the day. Then I had a church mtg at 7pm, I am going on a mission trip (1st ever!) in early April to an orphanage in So. Carolina. I'm tring to get out there and do for others....that's one of my strengths...giving of myself to those in need. It lifted my spirits, realizing so many others have constant struggles that are life-long (especially abandoned kids!)
Got home, had pizza and a beer....watched some Tv, meditated and prayed a bit....and then dozed off and actually had a good nights' sleep.
I'm doing better this morning...need to get out for a long walk with the dog and then get busy with work/chores around here. I have been fairly strong the last week, but felt sad on and off yesterday. That's normal, I know....I just prefer the PMA days.
Have a plan to meet H here tomorrow morning after his dentist appt and my staff meeting. Kind of like a date, I guess. I've got to build up my PMA and tune up my DBing skills.
, took a nap late in the day. Then I had a church mtg at 7pm, I am going on a mission trip (1st ever!) in early April to an orphanage in So. Carolina. I'm tring to get out there and do for others....that's one of my strengths...giving of myself to those in need. It lifted my spirits, realizing so many others have constant struggles that are life-long (especially abandoned kids!)