Be extraordinary

[JuneReN]

Tori you are right. We are also best friends so we tell each other stuff. For instance H was recounting a convo with his good friend in which friend said you and ruby are separated but not really. H agreed at that. Could be seen as cake eating but feels more like a child exploring but still having the safety. It works for now. Am pretty cool with who I am and what I do. But Tor, if H has made commitment to our friendship he may not blow it again. For anything or any one. That is remaining g true.

[RosaLinda]

I am so happy that you are so convinced that you will renconcile with your H Ruby, not a bit delusional! And I agree that he will not want to risk losing you and your friendship again. 

You are doing a great job at DBing. I know how hard it must be to have this half on-half off relationship, but think you're doing a great job of giving him space yet being available for him. A difficult balancing act for you.  

[JuneReN]

Thanks Linda. Some days I am sure I am delusional though lol!

Listen, a thought to put out there;

I have had the desire lately, to just live in the now, my own space. It is calming and pretty good . What's up with this? I have less desire to reach out to H, but am just as happy when he reaches out this way. Love to see him still, but don't think of ways I can finagle a meeting. Either detaching or really tired (after school, commuting and work!) Maybe time to get some sleep

[StubbornDyke]

Exhaustion can help with detachment You might as well make the most of it.

[RosaLinda]

That sounds detached and calm to me, just living your life and letting events unfold. It sounds like a good place to be mentally. I wish I could become detached like that!!! SD is right, being so busy and worn out probably does help with detachment, but don't make yourself sick Ruby, get some rest.

[in_it]

Ruby-you are spot on in regards to finding those ways to finagle a meeting or even conversation. In my situation when I didn't obsess over this & felt detatched & just let that stuff happen I've had some of the best days.

That desire to just live is a great feeling & yes I agree that exhaustion probably does help.

Keep it up & continuing doing you. You do so well with GALing. I wish I had that.

[chl0901]

Hi kate's_place, I just read up on your sitch and see you're name is Ruby, so hello!

I don't have anything to add that hasn't already been said, but wow! You have been through a lot and ended up in what seems like a pretty good and optimistic (either way) place, which is great! You seem happy and at peace with whatever happens. I hope I can make it to that place someday! Best wishes!

[Positivespin]

As you are the master of GAL I wonder what youd think of this?

Im taking a trip to Boston on 8/2- visiting friends- A Friday out of my office sounded like a good idea. 4 day workweeks are great (unless compared with no day workweeks). Still trying to create that opportunity

[Breakdown]

I have had the desire lately, to just live in the now, my own space. It is calming and pretty good . What's up with this?

I think that's a goal of a lot of the folks here....to be able to get to that point where you just live in the now. It is absolutely calming, and a lot easier to enjoy yourself and your GAL. So in my book, you are way ahead of the game

[BrightFuture]

Ruby, I have no desire to contact H also. It has been like that for quite some time. I’m OK with him contacting me, I’m not nervous anymore. I don’t think I’m detached though. I still cannot get him out of my head most of the time. I’m trying to figure it out too. I think I don’t initiate contact because I don’t want to be disappointed and/or anxious, it is kind of a self defense mechanism for me.

Take care of yourself.