Talk about only if he brings it up. When you are talking to him, use I statements instead of you, you, you. This works, at least it did for me. And really listen to what he has to say. And don't interrupt him while he is talking.
I like this part: I think I shocked him by saying I could understand why he saw it that way and have realized a lot of things about myself since we've been apart.
You caught him off guard because you used an I statement.
Like I said earlier, actions speaks louder than words. You have to show, show, show.
Be careful when fighting, because we can not take back what we say. When you feel yourself getting mad, walk away for a few minutes. Gain on your composure and then continue the conversation.
Post in your signature line your age, children and how long you have been separated. This will help.
