it didn;t hurt as much as the 2x4s I've been giving myself, lol
H47 me48 T22 M21 S20 - Got high functioning autism 3/2000 H admits to OW and moves out to live with her 11/2000 H moves back home 2/4/13 H moves out H tells me he wants D 6/13, but now he can't afford to!
Well, another email from the WAW this evening. It seems harmless enough as follows
Quote:
[/quote]R--, Could you in your spare time check the bag that has all of our important papers and see if any of the papers that I signed for my car back in 2011 are in there. Would really appreciate it! I'm thinking that they sent most of the paperwork to B---, but can't be sure. N----[quote]
Her son has been leasing a vehicle for her for years now since he has such a big company it's a write off for him. Anyways, this email is somewhat suspicious because her need for paperwork on the car. Her son has has all the necessary paperwork as he always has at his office. She even mentions this in the last sentence above. Her lease is up in November. So what is going on. # emails in 5 days from her and notice how pleasant this one is. I really dont believe she needs any paperwork from "our" bag and she knows it. She went thru that bag before she left and took her Birth cert, our marriage license etc. I already went thru it so I know whats gone. I need a DB response....
So I went thru "our" bag of important papers and found nothing about her lease car as I knew I would. I did however come across our marriage license and pics. So she didnt take that as I thought she did above. You know, it just seems like she is testing me or poking me now. I dont know, its wacky though. I really dont feel this latest request is valid on her part. She knows her son has all the paperwork. Maybe I'm not seeing clearly enough yet but this new email needing paperwork isnt quite right. I'm not responding until tomorrow as I know DBing tells u to not respond right away.
If this is a game on her part now, it's no fun....
Well, still haven't responded but as I was thinking over night, I do realize W is definately changing her tone towards me. WOndering if she is having a change of heart.
Hi 2old, sorry I've not responded. I'm really busy this week and it's not lunchtime over here in the UK. I think your W is reaching out to you and finding excuses to email you. While all this is good, remember baby steps. The only time you can reach out yourself is when she does a positive move such as MC, R or moving back home. Keep 180ing, it's working really well in such a short space of time Answer her email with a one liner and be friendly and polite. Something along the lines of - Hi. I couldn't find what you wanted in the bag, sorry. Any other ideas of where it might be?
H47 me48 T22 M21 S20 - Got high functioning autism 3/2000 H admits to OW and moves out to live with her 11/2000 H moves back home 2/4/13 H moves out H tells me he wants D 6/13, but now he can't afford to!
Well, still haven't responded but as I was thinking over night, I do realize W is definately changing her tone towards me. WOndering if she is having a change of heart.
I wouldnt bet on anything and try to keep your expectations at zero.
I dont post too much in newcomers but your name caught my eye and I had a laugh as you are the same age as I was when I arrived here.
You seem to be getting good advice.
DB'ing is NOT something that changes the sich overnight. It takes TIME, lots of it.
Have you ever heard that if you have something and let it go, if it flys away it was never yours but if it comes back then it was meant to be. Think of your marriage the same way. Also try grabbing a wet bar of soap. The harder you squeeze the harder it is to hold onto.
You are making some changes and learning about DB. The advice here works, I am totally sure of that.
Go back and count how many times your wife contacted you since you have been posting. And you wrote that she is 900 miles away and will NEVER contact you.
I guess it is becoming obvious even to me now she is reaching out. Here is what I wrote her and just sent " Morning N----, I went through the bag this morning and no, there is no paperwork for your car, sorry. Might there be anything in the glove compartment with your manual?"
Thanks Trying, I kept it short like u suggested now we will see if she responds back to the glove compartment question.
Staying busy is good for you right? busy, busy, busy....
And her response sent just a bit ago "No, I already checked. Thank you!"
I presume I should leave it at this and not respond correct? I was expecting more since she seems to be reaching out and yes, I know I shouldn't "expect" anything. Who knows maybe she really was only concerned to know about any paperwork. I tend though to believe you trying, that she is reaching out. i am trying hard to handle this properly as I am sure you understand.
Hi cadet, Thanks for responding. Yes, I do indeed understand what you are saying. The fact is since I have been quiet she is now initiating contact. I am only trying to respond to her questions and nothing more. I think that is the right thing to do. If I ignore her completely doesn't that only make things worse.
Answer her email with a one liner and be friendly and polite. Something along the lines of - Hi. I couldn't find what you wanted in the bag, sorry. Any other ideas of where it might be?