Falling Down 100....Getting Up 101

[BrightFuture]

Hey Portia, I hope you parents are OK. It’s been 13 months from BD for me, and I also learnt that it takes time to recover from broken relationship. I’ve read somewhere that it takes one month for every year of M to recover. I guess I have about 4-5 months to go.

I’m also not a big believer in MLC fog, even though I’ve read lots of stories told by people who went through this, like Wonka. But I can tell that the MLCers only think about themselves. They don’t care if they hurt the people who are closest to them. In my case, H told me during the BD that he didn’t want to hurt me and I’ve heard from our mutual friends that he said the same words. IDK, maybe his MLC is not that severe, or maybe he is not in MLC at all, or he is just a different character trying to do the right things and look like he cares. Saying that he didn’t want to hurt me didn’t prevent him from starting the EA with that Mexican girl. Did he think that it would not hurt me? OK, to many "hurt" words in one paragraph...

It looks like you did the same thing I did – read this board for 20 hours a day. I also learnt that all sitches are different and there is no prediction of outcome for any of us. But, there is so much wisdom and experience.

I know that 4 months sounds long for you, but from outside it doesn’t look that bad. There are many stories out there with longer periods of no contact and reconciliation at the end. You don’t know if he needs his freedom from you. There might be multiple reasons for no contact. He might feel guilty, he might need more time to figure out what he wants, he might be scarred of his feelings, etc. If you feel that you want to reach out, maybe you should do it. Just don’t have any expectations.

Thinking of you, Portia. (((((hugs)))))