My hate comes from what her actions have done to D3. The constant "picking", the separation issues, the anxiety issues, The timidness.
I do not and will not ever be able to have 100% custody to protect her from this. So I have had constant guilt issues.
This was originally 100% my fault, my actions drove her to stray.
My self esteem and confidence was so low after the BD that I assumed this to be fact- until I confirmed the affairs.
I thought I had processed these events- Im learning that I have not fully. ALL those lies. I will never know what else.
RT and Lefty- Its my growing strength that is allowing me to see this and accept this and process this.
Being alone scares the hell out of me - but wait!!!!! Havent I been the last 5 months?
Can I or SHOULD I trust her again- Ill have plenty more time to figure that out.
Lefty- Im at 198.0 - maybe someday ill catch up to you
189 is "healthy" BMI - Im single digits away
I was "OBESE"
ME 38 W 37 T18 M5 D3 BD 1/7/13 PA Conf 2/11/13- Ongoing 2nd simultaneous affair Confirmed 4/19/13 W gets APT and begins transition out 5/29/13 First mediation appt 12/19/13
