Don't beat yourself up. Just get back on the horse, I know it [censored] and what i'm trying to learn is to really trust GOD with my whole heart, mind, and soul. I can only imagine the pain, but don't give up. You made a vow and I know it sounds cliche but it's true. Now that doesn't mean be a punching bag either. Be strong, Be firm, Be masculine, Show Humility and Compassion. This was a passage from the love dare that has been a tremendous blessing to me maybe it can help you.
"But that's not the issue with love. Love positively acts; it doesn't negatively react. Love rises above the cloudy circumstances and soars above the storm. It defies common, self-centered logic. It chooses to honor even when it's rejected. Love treats it's beloved as special and sacred even when an ungrateful attitude is all it gets in return. It refuses to be pulled back into the hole of self-centered living."
Now this is for you! Love yourself too! I'm not saying what you should do one way of the other, I would def reconsider moving out. Get a roommate if you can't afford the place alone. I understand you trying to be the NOBLE man, but... It's like this we follow the Geneva Code that other countries might not live by. Sometimes you must play by the rules that have been established... Don't be nasty or cruel, but be firm. We sometimes hope that they will see the good but reality right now is they won't. Let her see that the "Knight in shiny armour is really just a clown in an aluminum suit" Hoah. Remember General order #1...
