I got home late last night from my week-end with d on the west coast, skiing. We had planned this mom/daughter week-end for a while. But, I also had to tell her the big NEWS about H moving out. And it was really hard. I have some resentment toward H about ME having to do the dirty work....but she lives in the NW and we only see her occaisionally...and didn't want to do it by phone. H plans to see her in the next week or 2 during a business trip so they'll have some 1:1 time. Anyway....she cried, got angry, was sad, was sympathetic, strong, courageous, and spiritual at times. We both cried, talked...I really tried to hold up most of the time....and tried to have a united front with H...that we both agreed we needed to take a step from having our heads in the sand. That is was hard for H too....even painful, he stated the week prior. H called Sat morning to ask how we were doing. I told him straight out....this was really hard, painful, but we were talking it through and needed to process throughout the week-end. He said that the actual move for him on Sat was much more difficult than he anticipated and talking was one thing, but actually moving was really hard. I said "I'm sure it is hard." I wanted to say "GOOD>>>HOPE YOU ARE HURTING BAD!!!" (but I didn't).
He said he would call me today and we would go over how our d was doing. We would also talk aoubt finance stuff and then when/how to approach s (who's in college, too, about 3 hrs away). YUK....I hate the part where the kids are involved, but it affects them so deeply. Up until the bomb (last June) they thought of us as a solid, happy, secure family. It shook their world. Of course as a Mom, I worry for their security, their future relationships, trust, etc. SH!T, no matter how old they are, it's so unfair to them!
Ok, now for me....I arrived home late last night, H gone now for good. I was wondering how I would do. I've prayed alot over all this and asked for courage and guidance to be the best Mooka I can be. Anyway....I'm doing quite well. Walked around the empty house, h only took minimal stuff, bought new TV & couch for apt. I watche TV and then went to bed and slept better than I thought. I'm slowly catching up on all of you here at BB and getting back on track for ME. I have plans for the next 4 nights in a row....thru Fri....GOOD FOR ME. I have 2-3 very wonderful, supportive friends who are checking on me already this am.
So, I will try to stay strong. H and I have a phone appt today at 12:30 to catch up on things. I will try to be pleasant, agreeable, factual about d emotions, and then talk about s and what our plan will be. He may want to put off telling him for 2 weeks, but I disagree on that point....think it will make him more angry that he was kept in the dark...plus d wants to talk with her brother ASAP....and doesn't want to wait that long. I don't blame her...they need each other.
So any feedback from my supprt team here would be great. I'll have more time this week to catch up on everyone's sitch.
