Glad things are settling in. I think staying in the 'friend' zone with both for a little bit might be a good idea. Make sure you know what YOU want first...
Yeah this week's probably gonna be tough. Just stay busy. You know how to find me if you need to talk to kill some time.
Personality is who the world sees, character is who you are
It's good to have options! I guess W isn't the only one who noticed your changes? Does W know about your friend? That's certainly a dose of reality -- real world consequences. You sound good Breakdown, good for you!
Married 18, Together 20, Now Divorced M: 48, W: 50, D: 18, S: 16, D: 12 Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 7/13/11 Start Reconcile: 8/15/11 Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 5/1/2014 (Divorced) In a New Relationship: 3/2015
It's good to have options! I guess W isn't the only one who noticed your changes? Does W know about your friend? That's certainly a dose of reality -- real world consequences. You sound good Breakdown, good for you!
Yeah, W knows about her...and she's not friggin happy. It's one of the reasons I think she is pursuing so hard.
Originally Posted By: labug
Good to hear from you, BD.
Your W is saying what I was saying after the bomb.
Thanks Bug! I need to go back and read your sitch. I'd love to know what the thought process was at that point.
Oh geez don't go read all that ancient history. I went back to look for something on my thread not long ago and couldn't read much.
Your W seems to be becoming an LBS.
LOL...ok.
And yes, I agree. I just wonder if she is willing to do the heavy lifting now. I'd still love to reconcile, but I can't go back to the way it was, and I'm not willing to risk it again without her understanding her own issues. So the question that keeps running thru my mind is how long to I play the "wait and see" game?
My girly friend and I put things on the back burner. I was worried about getting too involved, too soon, and she was worried that things between xw and I aren't settled yet...all valid concerns. I miss spending time with her, but I was definitely getting too wrapped up in it.
XW and I are getting along pretty good for the most part. She told me the other day that she had talked to OM and then seen him at a work thing, and a day later, I went off and told her I wouldn't be a friend or anything more as long as he was in the picture. Mostly it was fear on my part....and I apologized and explained a few days later. XW was very understanding, which I found a touch weird. She has been very forthcoming about what she's doing, when, and with who, and while I've said, "you don't need to explain to me," she's said, "I want you to know."
XW started seeing a new IC, which I think is awesome. I'm hopeful she starts digging thru her stuff in the near future. I thought her last IC was an idiot, but I guess that was partly because XW never told her the complete truth about anything.
The connection is still really strong with us and it bothers me a little....only because I know there's a risk involved. Yesterday was our anniversary....16th year. I asked her to lunch, and went where we did on our wedding day for lunch. I gave her a card and a book with marriage quotes. She cried a little and was very happy. After my golf outing, she asked me to come over, and it turned into a sleepover. And while it was awesome, it scares the hell out of me at the same time.
All in all, I feel great. I'm busy, I'm happy, I'm running a lot, prepping for tough mudder, planning a trip to NC in a few weeks, and probably CA in a month or two. Still trying to get the new place bought and fixed up, but all in all, it's a happy craziness right now.
But, it sounds like you are in a very good place right now. Crazy happiness is a fine place to be.
I think that was admirable that you put your lady friend on hold for now. I am struggling with a new potential relationship that I know will get me in trouble if I let it turn into something physical, so I need to follow your example!
Great GALs too!
M- 18 T-21 S-14,11 & 10 BD 6-18-2012 (OW-EA) H moved out 11-3-2012 10-5-13 Me- I want a divorce. I want to move on w my life. 11-25-13 Jointly filed.
