What do I do?

[lovethehub]

Hello,

I am sorry things are where they are, and I am here to support you. It does seem that you may be missing the point of DB a little. I know detachment takes a while, so kind of focus on that but definitely focus on changing you and ignoring, as best you can, what H is doing.

Remember that YOU are in control of YOUR life. I know, easier said than done.

I feel like I've taken a big step toward accepting he's not coming back. And a big step toward realizing it will never be the same if he does and starting to have little thoughts of not wanting him back. And thinking maybe I really would be happier married to someone else.

You are right, it can never be the same. However, it can be BETTER. I was originally a WAW, ended up a LBS, when I was the WAW I was soooo confused I didn't know what I wanted. One day I wanted to R, the next day I wanted to run as far away as possible - and, unfortunately, it took 2-3 years before I really knew what I wanted. You have to accept this may be a very long process and then decide if you are in it for the long haul.

None of this is easy, but D isn't either. I have an ex, and a D with my ex, I thought it was harder after the D than it ever was before.

Take a deep breath, focus on yourself and worry about you and your children. Be loving but not clingy and move forward with YOUR life. You never know how this will turn out...