This past week has been really busy, but there were many opportunities to work on my 180s. Sometimes I messed up (see above, we got into an argument that night), but when I did, I tried to make sure that every interaction after that was positive.
The question that has been weighing on my mind lately has to do with physical affection. In the early months of the break-up, even though physical affection was scarce, there was still a romantic component when there was affection, like kissing for example.
Now, there was more physical affection, but it seems...intimate, but not necessarily romantic. I don't know if that makes sense? We have not been physically intimate in a few months now, but she has since then started giving me a peck on the lips regularly when we say goodbye, hugging me, and touching my leg or hair if we're sitting next to each other. How do you know if these interactions will ever interact to something more...romantic? Are these innocent physical interactions a way of making her feel safe, rebuilding our relationship, etc? I guess I just want to know someone's thoughts on if these intimate, but non-romantic physical affections help or hurt my situation.
WEDNESDAY
While asking about my day, I told her co-worker (who is friends with both of us) asked how we were doing. I gave a vague answer and said, "Good, I think. But you'd have to ask P herself." P followed up asking how I thought we were doing (saying it's been a while since we "checked in" with each other. I said I thought we were learning to communicate better and fighting less overall. I added that I didn't know what that meant for the big picture, but I knew that interactions between us have been less tense.
She said she thought we were interacting better too. Said that if someone (who knows our situation) asks how we're doing, she says that we're doing better, that we're "seeing how things go." Or maybe it was "taking things as they come." Either way, it was one of those "play it by ear" statements, which...maybe is better than a "we're still broken up." I don't know, thoughts? Her statement did make it seem there was a bit more wiggle room in our situation, but I don't want to be mind reading.
She also said there was things that she still wants to do for herself (i.e. move out and learn to be independent), but the need to do so hasn't weighed as heavily on her as it did before.
WEEKEND
The big thing this weekend was going to Vegas and I knew beforehand it would be an important opportunity to show the new me. The two biggest opportunities were 1) meeting her old HS friend, and 2) hanging out with her sister & husband.
180s
1) Socialize with her friend, don't be so introverted.
2) PMA at all times, especially in situations where I feel uncomfortable and normally express facially how I feel.
3) Be more engaging with her family.
I made those three 180s my top priority and overall, let the trip be hers. We did not fight at all and actually had a really nice time. She displayed her recent level of physical affection (touching my leg, fixing my hair, playfully punching my arm). While we were out at the club (she was a bit tipsy), she wanted a kiss on the cheek in front of her friends. We're not big on PDA and I know it was the alcohol talking, but that was nice.
