Getting Back to Me

[JuneReN]

RT...I am so sorry I wasn't here.

You are loved.

Go on cruise, wallow, exercise, drink frou frou drinks.

Love yourself, because we do.

W has to figure this one out on her own, you know that in your heart. I personally think you should come to Boston on the 2 August.....just sayin'

[Wonka]

(((((RT))))))

Dang...this isn't good at all. I do feel for you and your tender heart. Ditto to all of the others about taking care of yourself.

[RealityTrip]

Thanks friends. I feel uggh. I am trying to concentrate on work but my mind is spinning. I go from frantically running my To Do list in my head to... wondering if she's thought about me since she left to... thinking about all the things I need to do around the house to... being depressed about having to give up my home since I can't afford it alone to... thinking I'll be ok to... well you get the picture... It's a freakin' tornado in my head.

I haven't cried today. I almost did when I went home for lunch. I thought... I need to mow the lawn, then I just looked at my home as I drove away from it to go back to work. I got really sad.

My sisters and friends are on the "fragile LBS watch". My phone does not stop going off. Call, text, call, text. Everyone is so sweet but it is daunting and a lot! My neighbor even asked if she could watch a movie at my house last night because something was wrong with her cable. I'm sure. She's sweet though. She came down and watched and then left after I fell asleep and locked up behind herself.

I know the focus should be on me but can I just have an obsessive moment here though? lol! I just want to say I do not understand that rationalization of leaving your marriage after 12 years to go be with someone who in your 2 yr affair has already cheated on you. Your communication is peppered with disrespectful name calling and neither of you has a steady income or a place to live.

She told me she couldn't get past the "What If" in her mind about OW.

I can see my future a bit. The one with just me in it. The one where I am happier and healthier and truly smiling again. But I see the mountain I have to climb to get there and it's big. I'm already so tired from the battle down here in valley.

And can someone just tell me that things are not rosy for W and AP right now?

I hope they eat their emotions and get fat. (ok, ok, not healthy detachment... but come on?... just a little fat?)

[in_it]

RT-you are one of the strongest people I know. I say that I know, because I do feel as if I know you.

You will pull away even stronger from this when it is all said & done. Hugs to you. Remember we are here for you. You have such a level head, it's amazing.

No matter what happens, guy will be ok. The person you've become through all of this will get you through it.

You have a wonderful supprt system around you. Use it when needed.

[MileHigh]

I can only add my feelings about my W and her OM, and it always seems like she's trying to convince herself as much as me that she's found the thing that'll make it all better.

I know we're supposed to detach, but I guess you, like me, have a really hard time with that.

I also need to mow my lawn! The house thing makes me sad too, because we were supposed to be starting a new life in the new place, and now I'm stuck in the old dump which I was going to have a really hard time selling anyway.

Yikes... I stopped by here to help cheer you up, not pile on my woes... but it always helps me to compare notes with those in similar situations.

[Positivespin]

AWESOME job keeping your shnit together and not bopping her in the nose

If you havent yet its time to speak with a atty so that your team is in place - just in case.

I hope you got in to see your T today.....

You ARE strong!

[chl0901]

Hi RT, I've been catching up on your thread and I'm so sorry for what you are going through right now. My heart hurts for you.

I agree with everyone else when they say just make sure to take care of yourself, and a cruise does sound nice (with a few pina coladas, perhaps?)! If not, just maybe a mini-vacation to a nice bed and breakfast or something to unwind and get away for some good pampering time (wine, bubble baths, walking around a cute little town)?

And, yes, I bet they are both getting really fat! But really, after the issues they've already had, there's no way it can be rosy or foggy for that much longer.

Time for YOU! Best wishes!

[Wonka]

RT, it is best at this time to surround yourself with loved ones. Boy, this is rough...and there'll be bumps in the road ahead. Focus on yourself first and foremost. (((((RT)))))

[RealityTrip]

Thanks everyone for so much love and support. In_It, I missed u! I'm stopping by your thread next.

So I came home, did some cleaning. Watched True Blood on DVR and then started by spreadsheet. Listing all of our assets and all of our debt as of last Friday. I adjusted my payroll direct deposit today into my own single account. I just need to move swiftly in dividing the financial assets. I hope I can keep up this pace to send her everything by Friday for her input.

I hope I don't dream of them tonight. They haunted me last night. I hate that. I'm going to read some before bed from a little pick me up book my neighbor gave me called "Attitude Is Everything" Hoping it will set my mind right for slumber and keep the bad dreams away.

My friends from upstate called tonight and told me they are coming down Friday for the weekend. I have some GAL to look forward to as a reward for all the tough stuff I have to do this week.

[in_it]

True Blood! Love that show. One of my favorites!

You have a very good head on your shoulders. Keep it up. Enjoy your time with your friends this weekend. God works in mysterious ways. I have a feeling he is sending you them to you for the weekend for a reason. Live in that moment.