I am sorry for the situation you find yourself in. I am in it too. It is by far the hardest thing to go through in my life.
There is always hope as long as what has transpired between you can be forgiven, by both of you. This will not happen over night and will take a very long time to work out. Its a marathon, not a sprint. Even if you do everything right from here on out, there is still no guarantee. You need to take care of yourself.
You are in the beginning stages of this and you haven't detached, AT ALL!
YOU MUST DETACH, DETACH, DETACH. GAL, 180, AsIf. EVERYDAY. That old saying comes to mind right now. If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it was meant to be. You need to let her go and GAL.
Think of it this way. Was being needy, begging and having no self confidence in yourself what attracted her to you when you first started dating. Probably not.
Start being that person she fell in love with when you first started dating. That was the attractive person she fell in love with. Be that guy. If she doesn't come back to you, I can almost guarantee someone else will find YOU attractive and will love YOU for who you are. Not the begging, needy and no confidence person you are being right now. (Sorry for the 2X4 over the head.)
Those qualities are not attractive to most people. They are especially not attractive to the WAS/MLCer. Those qualities will only assure that you situation is prolonged.
Stop being that person. I know it is hard. I struggle with it everyday. Please trust me though, it will get easier. Just start acting AsIf. Get out and GAL, PMA and live by Sandi's 37 rules EVERYDAY.
Get ready to cycle. Cycling is when you think you are moving forward and getting your PMA going. Then something happens and you are reminded of what you had and you down cycle. Example: You have had a good PMA day or week and then POOF, its gone and you are sad and lonely again. Learning to recognize that you are cycling will help you deal with it better. We all do it. It gets easier with time. that is why GAL is so important. It will get your mind off of the negative emotions.
EAT SLEEP AND EXERCISE. If you cant sleep, the rest.
It can be very difficult emotionally for you when you down cycle. Once again, I know from experience. If you have the book DR, read about LRT.
Keep us posted.
Once again, I am sorry you have found yourself here with the rest of us. You are not alone. We are here with you and are going through similar situations.
Trust in DR and Sandi's 37 rules. they will help you get through this. They will make you emotionally stronger, which ever way your R goes. Plan for the worst and hope for the best.
