I have read Love must be tough, I think I probably need to reread it though, because as I'm sure everyone does, I do good and then in a weak emotional moment find myself in tears telling her how sad and scared I am to lose her and the kids. I have also read the 5 love languages and I'm working on The Love Dare.
As far as what went wrong, I guess typical stuff. Every once in a while I would get the "I need more help around the house" "We need to be more on the same page with parenting style" "We need to get better control of the finances" etc.....
I would do things better for a while, and then slowly slip back in to the same old routine. Last December or so, she point blank asked me if I wanted to be married to her. I said of course I do. She told me if I wanted to be married and live in our house and live with our kids, those are the things that needed to be fixed. Along with my physical appearance, primarily I had put on weight and she was genuinely concerned about my health.
Again, didn't take it real serious until the first part of May when the weather broke and I decided it was time to work on ME. Began running and at end of the month joined a Crossfit Gym.
The day after she told me that she didn't want to be with me any more, I went to Dr and got on antidepressants. HOLY COW I never realized what a difference it would make. I felt better than I had felt in YEARS! I also had a family meeting. I presented each of the kids and her with a flower and a hand written note promising to be a better dad, better husband, and a better person. I can honestly say I have kept that promise for over 2 months. No more short temper with the kids, a lot more help around the house, just generally better.
She agrees that she can see a huge change in me since that day. Now she says it is no longer about the changes and help she needed from me, it is about her and her being happy.
I see the stories on here and it does give me hope, unfortunately everyone of her friends or family that has talked to her has told me there probably is no hope that they don't see her changing her mind.
I am currently on vacation with the kids. She stayed home as she had no time to take off work. I thought maybe some alone time would let her reflect on things along with seeing what it will be like to go at least a week at a time without seeing the kids.
She has called or texted me every day since we left and even video chatted with the kids before bed one night. I try not to get to crazy when she texts me and keep my responses to the point and not keep going, but I'll be honest, sometimes just having her respond to me is enough for me to want to keep 'chatting'
I have been doing very good though about not texting her first.
