H also mentioned that people in his office can read his body language, that they are steering clear of him...walking on eggshells. He said he is NOT doing well and feels really lost. He said his eyes welted up today when talking with our tax guy....he told him our sitch...and wants me in the loop for everything. That I am not to be left out of any of our financial stuff and/or planning. He is really fair with me and generous, I'm lucky on that note.
Just wanted to finish up what happened in our talk. We both want our kids to handle this as best as possible. We are both very close to them and they to us. They have been very repectful and careful not to ask too many questions about how"WE" are doing....they know we had major struggles over the summer...they felt the tension first hand, for sure. Anyway, they cannot be in a position to take sides, feel sorry for either one of us....they need to know that we love them and will forever. That's huge. My C gave me some good advice on this one. Anyway, H seemed impressed with my thoughts on talking with the kids, together....giving them time to ask questions, process, etc. I said I didn't want to make any mistakes when it came to involving them. They are both in college, but we talk and see them often.
BTW, H did put a deposit down on an apt yesterday. I acted calmly, and said, "this may be a good time for me to sort things out on my own too." Then he wanted to talk furniture. To review his ideas and then talk more over the week-end. He is only taking basics, does not want to buy anything....except a TV. 2 chairs, bed, small table, end table and lamp or 2. We have old stuff and he will arrange to move it then end of Feb. (Which happens to be the week-end I visit my daughter out of state) That works for me, I really don't want to be around during the actual move.
After all that, he said "That was a really good discussion...we accomplished a lot. Now, let's try to lighten up, laugh a little, be compatable again, and just relax." We ordered take out, watched TV and everything was smooth, fairly comfortable.
This a.m. on the way to train H asked if I had anything more on my mind to discuss. I said no, we covered a lot last night and I'm doing fine. He seemed extra kind, friendly, tod me to have a great day. Waved while getting on the train.
So that's the latest. Think I'll back off of all the verbage for a while.....I'll be amazed if some of you waded through this lengthy post.
