lost and alone now

[Mimi00]

I agree with 180. Go to the birthday party, let him see you getting along wonderfully with his mom and other family (if they are there too), wish him happy birthday and move along, but truly try to enjoy yourself.

I just dont understand why in order for me to believe in the heavenly father I have to attend church services.

You don't have to attend church to believe. But church can be a helpful place to go to relieve stress, or meet others who have a positive outlook on life that could be of support.

[TryingToDo180]

I agree with 180. Go to the birthday party, let him see you getting along wonderfully with his mom and other family (if they are there too), wish him happy birthday and move along, but truly try to enjoy yourself.

I just dont understand why in order for me to believe in the heavenly father I have to attend church services.

You don't have to attend church to believe. But church can be a helpful place to go to relieve stress, or meet others who have a positive outlook on life that could be of support.

I agree mimi Some of my most supportive friends have been friends I've met through Church. In fact I've just spent a day with one of my Church friends Much to my H's dismay, lol He always takes my son swimming on a Sunday, then comes back and has a coffee here before he goes home. My friend invited me for some lunch and asked my H if he'd mind dropping my son off at my friend's instead. I don't think he liked his routine disrupted, tough

[kelela]

Well 180 I'm sitting here watching a movie with my MIL and H is trying to take a nap but OW keeps texting him left and right. I know that I'm going to be really harsh here l don't know why he wanted me to come tonight and he is sleeping well now he is up and she keeps texting him left and right. In a way I can't wait till he moves out in 10 days then I won't have to here his phone go off every second of the day. I don't know what the heck she has to keep texting him about every second.

[kelela]

Oh and now he went out side cause OW called him I guess im here to spend time with MIL oh I'm having so much fun. I guess i will leave here in a few I should have just gone straight home. I'm sorry I'm just having a weired and I'm all over the place today. Every little thing is just geeting on my last nerve and I'm trying to keep a level head right now cause my boys are here with me. I think I will sleep in tomorrow and I hope that I will have a better day.thank you again 180 for everything I'll talk to you again later.

[TryingToDo180]

K, if you're not having fun then you can leave. Don't torture yourself and explain to your MIL that you don't like it when he's talking to the OW on the phone - she'll understand
Hope you managed to get a lie in this morning
There's no harm in saying to your H that you would prefer if he talks on the phone in another room as it upsets you. Just say that and nothing else. Try and spend time apart from each other when you're in the same house, I think you already do this anyway.
The OW sounds like she is full on and this could eventually get on your H's nerves. He'll be back before you know it, but you must let him go first Be the wife that your H wants to come home to, I'm still trying to figure this one out!

[mizjjd]

The OW sounds like she is full on and this could eventually get on your H's nerves.

Agreed.

you must let him go first Be the wife that your H wants to come home to,

Angry, unhappy, clingy people are not really that attractive.

Find a way to make yourself strong and confident because THAT'S attractive.

l don't know why he wanted me to come tonight

I don't know either. Your H is not thinking clearly right now, and he may not have known why he asked you there either.

But, I get the feeling you perhaps thought he asked you there to spend time with you? Sorry K, your H just isn't that sensible right now.

To make things better and easier for you, remember to have ZERO expectations. Then you won't feel so rotten when your H behaves like a jackass. It will help you stay more even.

This is YOUR time K. YOU are the only one you have to impress right now.

Take care of yourself

[TryingToDo180]

I agree Miz Listen to what she says K because she's talking sense

[MrBond]

"Years ago and I was taught to do this and do that which I had followed but outside of the church the ones that was telling me that I couldn't do that or this they were doing what they said we couldn't do."

But this doesn't affect YOUR relationship to God. If you don't like the people in a specific church, go to another one.

"I don't understand why I have to attend church to believe in god. "

You don't have to go to church to "believe" in God. It's a matter of support and healing. When you find a good church, you'd be surprised with the lessons you can learn from it.

To be honest, you should not have gone to your H's birthday. He didn't directly invite you after all, you had to find out from a third party.

You are going to have to show him that you are not a pushover any more. The fact that he texts the OW right in front of you constantly is a slap in the face. You don't need to be extreme about it, but you need to establish your boundaries now.

[TryingToDo180]

I agree, your H should not be texting the OW in front of you As for the Church stuff, I think that's up to you at the end of the day. I've found a lovely Church with lovely supportive friends in it that will be with me for life and do not judge me at all. They're even nice to my H when he comes down for a social visit and that's how it should be
I have a friend who stopped going to Church because they were telling her what to do. They were supposedly Christians, but they were the ones telling me that I'm better off without him and believing in D. Go figure that one! They even accused my H of having an affair with one of our mutual friends! I can assure you and them that he wasn't! How do I know this stuff? Because they have a coffee shop that I've been to and believe me their stuff is wayyyyyy over the top! They didn't believe in yoga and they thought I shouldn't believe in horoscopes. I told them I didn't really believe in it, It's just a bit of fun! They told my friend that she wasn't allowed to watch soaps on tv as they were evil and she was possessed because she was on anti-depressants!!

[kelela]

I don't know why but I'm having a hard time staying asleep tonight. Its 3am my time and I'm wide awake yet I'm super tired. I'm going to try to fall asleep now